Archive for July, 2014
Once You Decide to Quit Your Job, You Might Enjoy it More Than Ever
It is a phenomenon that I heard over and over from people who I spoke to about quitting their jobs. Once they decided on a specific date to resign, they started enjoying their work again.
Most of these people were waiting for an event several months in the future, like receiving an annual bonus, before they announced that they were leaving. So while they knew that they were on their way out, their coworkers and managers did not.
This secret changed the way they thought, felt and behaved at work. One woman who spent half a year planning to quit her law firm said, “Those were the best six months of my career.”
These are the reasons why deciding to quit made employees like their work again:
They spent more time with coworkers they cared about. They knew that they weren’t going to see them five days a week anymore and would miss them. They made a point to stop by their desks to chat, eat lunch together and enjoy their company while they still could.
They stood up for themselves. On the flip side of missing their friends, there were other coworkers that they were looking forward to never seeing again. Until then, instead of ignoring or downplaying passive-aggressiveness or behavior designed to humiliate them, they told the offenders that it wasn’t OK to treat them that way.
They took more risks. All those great ideas that were tamped down out of fear of failure suddenly had new potential. Instead of going along with their managers’ terrible business proposals, they pointed out how different approaches would generate better results.
They set boundaries. They stopped working late nights and went home for dinner. They put their smartphones down and spent their weekends with friends and family, having fun and relaxing.
They kept it in perspective. Instead of getting worked up about the crap their bosses said, their long commutes and inane company policies, they reminded themselves that in a very short time it wouldn’t be their problem any longer.
All of this adds up to taking their power back. They had a lot less to lose since they were on their way out and wouldn’t be around to be punished in the next annual review. They stopped being afraid and started prioritizing their health, relationships and happiness.
Wouldn’t it be great if employees treated themselves with this level of self-respect all the time, not just when they are about to quit?
Fear is a Powerful Motivator
Last weekend I went to a monthly creativity group meeting that I’ve belonged to for about a year. We do fun little art and writing projects that stimulate creative thinking and help get past blocks.
At this meeting, the facilitator gave us a piece of paper with a quote from Jill Badonsky on it. Part of it read, “Many of us think we need to push and pressure ourselves in order to reach goals, and we ruthlessly call ourselves names without much regard to what this is doing to that little spirit inside of us that’s in charge of much of our creativity.”
I don’t call myself names, but when it comes to working on my manuscript I think I do need to pressure myself. I’ve written before about how much I struggle to make progress on my book. For my entire life I’ve been driven to achieve every goal I’ve set, and just plugged away at it until I was done. Until I started writing a book. And it drives me nuts.
At first I established a goal of writing every day, but I ended up with more poetry than book content. I made more progress when I decided to write at least one book sentence each day. Then I used Nanowrimo to push to 50,000 words. And finally I set and achieved the goal of finishing my first draft by the end of 2013.
Since then, I’ve been struggling with my rewrites. I love editing other people’s work, but when it comes to my own, it is so damn hard.
I don’t hate it. It’s more like being afraid of it.
Writing first thing in the morning helps. Eating well and exercising helps. The momentum from the chain habit worked very well for about 100 pages, but after I got sick and broke it, it was easy for me to break it again when I went on vacation last week. And since I’ve been home, I haven’t gotten back into a routine yet.
Part of the challenge is that my revisions take a different type of energy and brainpower than I’m used to using. I have to get my head into my topic without distraction and stay there, laser focused, until I have an idea of what needs to change. The changes might be moving paragraphs from one place to another, filling out a skimpy section, or trying to write a smooth transition sentence. Sometimes I stare at what I’ve written and I know it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work at all. But I don’t know how to fix it.
My most useful tactic in the past for achieving my goals was simple: I just kept working on it until I was finished. No obstacle was insurmountable. But with my book, I can stare at a page and not know what to do. This can go on for days.
Then I go to my two-sided writing hell, where on one fiery wall of doom are the parts of my book that I don’t know how to fix and on the other is a flaming mass of pressure to just finish the damn thing.
Last night I finally had enough of carrying around the feeling of fear in my chest and decided that today would be better. I got up and started writing this post. I still have to work on my book, an article and some consulting work, but I am determined to channel that tension into productivity.
I would much rather be propelled by positive energy, but I’m not alone. Lots of people are motivated by fear. On Tuesday night I listed to a TED Radio Hour show about Diana Nyad, who at age 64 swam 110 miles from Cuba to Florida. It took her 53 hours and was her fifth attempt.
On top of being cold and exhausting, there were sharks and poisonous jelly fish. But Guy Ross, who was interviewing her, noted, “It seems like you were more scared of not making it.”
Nyad answered, “Bingo…I think the fear of failure is a stronger motivator than any other fear.”
Then I read an article about Robert Kirkman, the writer of The Walking Dead comics. He said he sets an unrealistic goal each day, like writing 12 pages, and then when he is only able to complete half of that he has a “crushing sense of failure”. Then the next day he works harder to make up for missing the deadline.
So that’s where I’m at today. Working harder to make up for the progress that I didn’t make over the last ten days. And feeling surprisingly unafraid.
Three Things to Do When You’re About to Get Laid Off
If you think you’re going to get laid off soon, there are a few things you can do right now to be better prepared.
Don’t wait until you get the news – you might be upset or angry and forget to take care of important details while you have the chance. And don’t be overconfident. Just because your company may have given workers weeks’ long grace periods in the past, you never know when the policy will change and you’ll be asked to pack up your office and leave in an hour.
- Copy your contacts from your work computer’s address file to your home computer. All those coworkers, vendors and partners whose phone numbers and email addresses you filed on your work PC are part of your professional network. Regardless of where your career goes, keep your “rolodex”. And those personal names and numbers you stored in your work address book for the dentist and the pet sitter – save yourself the steps of having to recreate that information later.
- Print your most recent paystub and your December 31st paystub. You might need the details for mortgages or refinancing, for taxes, or for anything that requires proof of past earnings. Also, when you’re considering new job opportunities you can refer back to your paystub to add up the non-cash components of your total compensation. Employer-matched 401K’s, life/health/disability insurance, gym memberships, bonuses and stock should all be taken into account when it is time to discuss salaries. Being able to talk in detail about the total value of your past compensation package will help you negotiate with confidence.
- Calm down. Yes, facing a layoff can be scary. Career changes are disruptive and one that is not your choice may have extra discomfort because of the uncertainty of what you’ll do next. When you get consumed by your thoughts, just stop. Take a deep breath. You were hired for your last job and you’ll be hired again. Or you’ll start your own business. Or retire. Or take a break and figure out what you really want to do with the next years of your life. You’ll be eligible for unemployment benefits and probably get severance pay, so don’t waste your energy panicking about a financial disaster that probably won’t materialize. This could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Of course there are more things you can do before you walk out your company’s door for the last time. But for now, take these steps. And then go to work tomorrow knowing you’re a little more prepared. You got this.
I Broke the Chain and Lived to Tell About It
I broke the chain! The chain habit, that is. I didn’t do my daily goal of one blog sentence, one book sentence on June 30th or July 1st. And there was no earthquake, as I feared would happen if I broke the chain, although it was ungodly hot in Seattle on the 1st day of July. Not my fault! I don’t think….
I fully expected to repeat the chain until my book was finally finished or I died, whichever came first. But I got the stomach flu in the early hours of June 30th, and that was it.
I’m not even upset about it. I started recovering and picked up where I left off. Better, perhaps, because I got a lot more writing done today than I did any other day in June.
It was a tough month. I hurt my wrist from overusing a standard mouse and keyboard instead of my ergonomic ones. Then when I tried to limit my wrist movements when using my computer, I activated an old carpal tunnel injury.
That meant weekly trips to the physical therapist and acupuncturist and as little time on my PC as possible. It also meant that my regular yoga practice was disrupted since I couldn’t put weight on my wrist. I went to a few classes but ended up doing more watch-asanas than practicing and stopped going. So I wasn’t exercising like I usually do, and that made me feel sluggish.
Then my poor cat got sick and lost 15% of his already tiny body weight. At first I thought it was stress because we’ve had a lot of upheaval on the home front lately, but the vet diagnosed hyperthyroidism.
Add to that planning a two and a half week trip to Italy, finishing my biggest consulting project and bidding on a series of new ones, and it was a long, challenging month.
Through all of that, I still accomplished my daily chain goals. Even on my worst day, when I was exhausted and everything seemed to go wrong, I completed two sentences before I went to bed.
On many days in June, two sentences were all I did. So even though I kept the chain going, I wasn’t making much progress. I comforted myself with the thought that some forward movement was better than none.
And then the flu.
My relentless determination met its match and in a way, I’m glad I broke the chain. I was getting by on the minimum and now I’ve had to reset and start over fresh.
So my little calendar has two days with no checkmarks. That’s ok. I’m back on my feet and neither Milo nor I have vomited in four days. Italy hotels are booked. My right arm is strapped with arm and wrist braces that make me look like a futuristic gladiator, but I can type without wincing. And maybe even yoga tomorrow.
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