Archive for August, 2019
Tiny steps to cope with a bad job
Earlier this week my yoga teacher asked the class to think about joy. Are we cultivating it in our lives? Our focus for the session was to infuse our practice with the feeling and expression of joy.
I’m someone who finds it easier to self-reflect than to generate the feeling of joy on-command. When asked to think about something joyful and remember how it feels, my first instinct is to think of beloved beings from my past. Namely, my grandmother and my cat Milo, neither of whom are still living – so then I feel sad.
My second instinct is to think of something wonderful that is present in my life. While I’m grateful that my current projects and personal connections generate much happiness, thinking about them in this context makes me feel a bit anxious. Because as with my grandmother and cat, I can’t help but imagine what it will be like when they’re gone.
I realized that if I want to intentionally create the feeling of happiness in a moment, I need to think about something with much lower stakes. Luckily the 2019 VMA awards just happened and the clip of Lizzo performing “Truth Hurts” and “Good as Hell” makes me smile and sing along every time (seriously…I watched it for the 20th time in 3 days and still shout “yeah!” with her at the end). Lizzo’s own video for “Truth Hurts” also makes me stop what I’m doing and dance every time I watch it.
Side note: If someone would make a mashup video of Lizzo’s “Boys” and Macklemore’s “Downtown” my life would be complete.
This experience made me think about how hard it can be to feel peace, let alone happiness, when work sucks. When you dread going to the worksite every day and come home exhausted, the negativity is overwhelming. It’s a weight that tends to stay with us even in our off hours.
It’s not easy to rise up out of the heavy feelings caused by a bad work situation but the secret is to make the tiniest effort. It is natural to focus on things that take larger amounts of time, energy and focus, like finding a new job and all the steps that go along with that…finding job listings, refreshing your LinkedIn profile, lining up references…
Landing a new job that’s a better fit is important to work towards, but it’s also important to cope in the meantime. Making sure there are moments of feeling happy and lighthearted can keep downward spirals away and reminds us that there is more to life than our jobs.
If you feel like you’re drowing in a negative work environment, try spending some time every day thinking about what little things still make you happy or are pleasurable. The tinier the better because it’s an entry point to get past feelings of anxiety, sadness, or overwhelm. Then don’t stop at the thoughts of something positive; feel it in your body, too.
Eating something you like for lunch? Awesome, enjoy what it tastes like. Focus on it. Make the most of the meal. Hot shower? It feels good to soak in the steamy air and get clean. Notice that. It doesn’t exactly feel “happy” as much as it feels relaxing and calming. That works just as well! Or like me, take 3 minutes to watch a video that makes you smile. Then you can ask yourself:
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