Quitting
Leaders and Workers
In large workplaces there are leaders and workers, obviously. There must be people at the top setting strategic direction, delegating, and making decisions about where to invest. And there must be people to get the work done.
Yet in some corporations and the military, if you don’t continue to rise through the ranks, you are eventually pushed out. In one performance review system that I was familiar with, if an employee was considered unlikely to be promoted, they were docked in their review score and received fewer financial rewards. This was true even if they performed above expectations.
The belief was that the best employees would grow into higher-leveled positions and everyone else would eventually leave the company.
It seems short-sighted, doesn’t it? It’s a pyramid, with far more roles for workers at the base than roles for leaders at the top. Companies need many reliable workers at those lower levels to function, let alone thrive.
Not everyone has the qualities to be leader or wants to be a leader. Valuing the people who keep the business running is wise, especially in today’s environment, when employees who aren’t treated well are finding new places to work.
It’s hard to succeed in your job if you don’t fit in with the workplace culture
I recently heard someone say that the ability to succeed in the workplace depends on how well you adapt to the culture.
I wish I had learned that lesson at the start of my career. It could have spared me years of fighting to survive in workplaces where I would never have fit in.
I’ve had jobs that I stayed at too long past my expiration date. After the honeymoon phase, I slowly realized that the way I approached my work was not what those organizations wanted. Worse, in one of those roles, my work ethics were not aligned with the team’s.
If I could go back in time, I would have started looking for new roles as soon as I sensed that what I brought to those jobs — including my capabilities, ideals, and personality — were not valued. Instead, I burned out while putting my energy into trying to fit in better and succeed despite the environment. Towards the end, all my energy went to coping one day at a time.
What a waste.
On the other hand, I’ve been fortunate to experience some roles that were a great fit. My managers understood and supported what I was working on and how I did my job. I was mentored by people I respected. I could put my energy into my projects instead of navigating politics and temperamental managers. My skills and personality meshed with team’s charter and culture.
I accomplished a lot for those organizations.
I thrived.
Planning for healthcare insurance when you leave your job
If you’re planning to leave a job that provides healthcare insurance – or if you think you may get laid off soon – it is good to know what your options are.
If your company has an internal website with benefits information, check it out. Some companies even have internal sites with sections for “leaving the company” that can help you plan ahead. Find out what happens to your health insurance when you leave. Does it terminate on your last day of employment, or are you covered for the duration of the last premium paid?
In the United States, the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (most commonly referred to as COBRA) allows most employees to continue their employer-provided healthcare insurance by paying for all of the premiums themselves, plus a 2% administration fee.
If your employer currently pays for a percentage of your premiums, you might be shocked at how expensive COBRA can be. Despite the cost, before the Affordable Care Act (ACA) marketplaces opened in 2014, COBRA was the best option for many people to have continuous coverage between jobs.
Now there is another option when you lose your employer-provided coverage: purchasing healthcare insurance as an individual from state marketplaces. Marketplaces should offer multiple plans with different levels of coverage that correspond to the cost of the premiums. Don’t skip coverage because you think you can’t afford the premiums – you might qualify for a subsidy. You can find the basics at www.healthcare.gov and link to your state’s marketplace from there.
If you want to enroll in COBRA or a state marketplace plan, you have 60 days to enroll (sometimes 90 days for COBRA) from your last day of coverage.
If you have a Health Savings Account (HSA) or) through your employer-provided plan, it is yours to keep even after you leave. You may be able to use remaining funds to pay for COBRA or marketplace plan premiums.
If you have a Flexible Spending Account (FSA), you will lose those funds after you leave, so use them up! This is a great time to get your eyes checked, buy new glasses, get prescription sunglasses, get contact lenses, see a specialist, or stock up on over-the-counter medicine. If you choose to continue your coverage with COBRA, you can keep your FSA funds, but you can’t apply them towards your premiums.
Even if you’re leaving a job on your own terms, it can be stressful to think about healthcare coverage, especially if you have dependents. Taking a little time upfront to research your options and know how much you will need to pay for premiums can alleviate some of those worries. If you wait until after you quit, just don’t wait too long, since you have a limited amount of time that you are eligible for COBRA or a marketplace plan.
Why are so many people quitting?
Phillip Kane recently published an article in Inc. entitled, “The Great Resignation is Here, and It’s Real.” If you’re unhappy at work, you might like to read it and commiserate with the many thousands of others who are contemplating a job change.
I enjoyed the article because it points out what employers can do to retain staff. Kane writes, “In a word, care.”
I’m thrilled that so many employees are demanding a basic level of respect, and willing to find a new job if they aren’t getting it.
Are you one of them?
Trying to decide if you should quit? You should quit.
People who are unhappy at work often add to their misery by spending a lot of time and energy trying to decide if they will quit. Agonizing over the decision is exhausting.
If I simplify the advice that I’ve heard from dozens of people who quit their jobs into one sentence, it is this:
If you’re unhappy with your job, find a different one.
It is true that there are other considerations, like how difficult it will be to find a better job that pays enough, if you will change fields, and whether you should hold on in case things get better (they usually don’t). You can dwell on details endlessly, making yourself feel worse without getting any closer to a better life. The longer you stay in a bad job, the more it will take a toll on your health and wellbeing.
If your job is making you miserable, don’t make it worse by dragging out the decision of whether you should quit. You should quit.
Put your energy towards finding a better job.
Lots of people are quitting their jobs. How about you?
Lately there have been a lot of news stories about “the great resignation.” Some employees are quitting because they do not want to return to the office after experiencing the benefits of working from home. Others are reevaluating their priorities in life, and want to make changes that help them enjoy more of their working hours.
There are some similarities to how employees felt during and after the housing recession around 2007 – 2012. During the recession, there were mass layoffs and some employers cut benefits. Yet workloads did not change. The remaining employees struggled to fill the gaps and do more work with fewer resources. Employer attitudes were that staff should be grateful to have jobs when many did not.
When businesses started growing again and hiring in greater numbers, employees who were burned out and fed up had more new opportunities to choose from. And they chose them!
This time around, workers seem to feel even more empowered to leave their jobs for something better. A quick internet search for “negotiating working from home” pulls up several pages of results from the past year. And it is not only people seeking remote work who are quitting. Workers are looking for employers who will treat them well. Employees are less likely to put up with bad managers, brutal workloads, or inflexible workplace policies when there are other options.
If you are tempted to leave a bad job but need a little nudge, I’ve got a few nudges in the “quitting” category on my blog Quitting : Truth and Details.
A step towards a better job
Many people who spoke to me about quitting bad jobs told me it took two years for them to recover from the stress and negativity they had left behind. They came from different industries and their workplaces were toxic for different reasons. What they had in common was that they all moved on to better roles, and they were all happier because of it.
It can take time to find better work and recover from bad experiences. Starting small and starting now is a great way to stop feeling stuck and begin feeling empowered. Updating a resume or looking at job postings are actions within our control. A small step is still forward progress.
There is nothing virtuous about tolerating a toxic workplace
Coping with a bad job while you search for something better? Great. Doing what you need to do to pay the bills until you can move on? Sometimes necessary.
But there is nothing virtuous about staying in a toxic work environment just because you think you should be able to handle it. Tolerating bad treatment on the job doesn’t earn you a badge of honor.
Your experiences are valid
I recently had a pain in my body so strong that it kept me awake for four nights. I didn’t know what was causing it. When I saw my doctor, she didn’t seem to know what the problem was or think it was a serious issue. For a moment, I started to question if the sleeplessness and severity of the pain was really a big deal. As the appointment was wrapping up, she mentioned that I could get a test before I left.
When the test results came in, it showed a definitive cause of the pain. The treatment was just a strong dose of Ibuprofen and the issue eventually resolved itself. I was elated. I felt relieved to know what the problem was and that there was a simple treatment. But much more than that, I felt vindicated. The test results were undisputable, and proved to the doctor that I wasn’t exaggerating or having a psychosomatic issue, imagining my discomfort.
The reason for this story that is both too vague and too personal is that there was pain. Whether or not the test uncovered the reason for the pain, there was pain. I was awake for four nights and there was no reason for me to try to convince myself that that experience was any different from what it was. And yet when my physician didn’t seem concerned, I started to question it.
It is not uncommon for other people to dismiss our pain because it isn’t theirs. It doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there. The analogy to work is that when people are inside toxic workplaces, it is very easy for their concerns to be brushed aside.
If your coworkers, friends, or family downplay your descriptions of harassment, verbal abuse, retaliation or other serious work issues, take a step back to consider their motivations. When people respond unempathetically, it might be because they don’t know how to process your suffering and therefore try to squash the topic that is making them uncomfortable. Another possibility is that their egos are trying to protect them from imagining what it would be like to be in your position. They may have a belief that they are too smart or too strong to “let” themselves be abused, and use that belief like a magic charm to ward against it. A third possibility is that they are resigned to the fact that workplaces are frequently toxic and there aren’t great options for dealing with it.
Regardless of the reasons why others may respond poorly, you don’t need external validation for your lived experiences to be true. Trust yourself. Your experiences are valid.
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