Regaining Confidence After a Bad Work Experience
Bad jobs can hurt our souls. Humans thrive on contributing to things larger than ourselves, being productive, positive interactions with others and recognition for our efforts. A job is much more than a means to pay the bills.
When a rotten manager tells you your work isn’t good enough – or you’re not good enough, it wounds your spirit. When coworkers blame and shame you, it rips little holes in your psyche. Even if you know that you add value to your company and that you do good work, even if you think your managers and their minions are idiots — constant negative feedback is damaging.
Many people who I’ve spoken with about quitting their jobs told me they lost confidence in themselves because of bad work experiences. These are people who have grown their careers, earned advanced degrees, or led initiatives that made millions of dollars for their companies. Some of them have tough reputations, and aren’t especially sensitive to criticism. Yet the negativity they endured made them unsure of themselves.
If you haven’t experienced a job like this and you’re not close to someone who has, you might be thinking, “If they were such great workers, why did their managers treat them so poorly?” Well, that is the reality of many organizations – whether military, education, corporate, religious or any other field — there is dysfunction. Often a team needs a scapegoat to blame for poor results, or to use as a target to vent their own insecurity and anger. Sometimes it is the company culture. Sometimes it is just crazy-making.
Feeling insecure about your value as an employee is not a great state to be in when searching for a new job. Interviewers can smell fear, and if you’re questioning your abilities, you may settle for a job you don’t want or accept a lower salary than you deserve.
It took some people two or three years to regain their confidence and self-esteem after a terrible job, regardless of whether they were fired or quit on their own. Ugh. That is too long to let the jerks continue to have power over you. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be this way. The people who bounced back quickly have this advice:
- Take back your power right now. Remind yourself as many times a day as you need to that this is your life. You get to choose whether you tell your coworkers “don’t talk to me like that” or quietly plot your exit while biting your tongue.
- You are more than your job. You are not your title, your company, or your salary. You are a whole person with many parts to your life. Know that your value as a human being is based on many things, but how your boss treats you is not one of them.
- You have skills and talents. When you feel low because you only hear what your manager thinks you are doing wrong, remember what you are good at. Write a list of your positive work traits if you need to. Take the Strength Finders test. Think of all you have accomplished in the past. When you’re scanning the job listings or updating your resume, this is the frame of mind to be in.
If you’ve left a horrible job or are currently in one, I hope you hold onto your self-worth and use what you’ve learned about the experience. You may come out on the other side with clearer boundaries, greater awareness of your strengths, and the confidence that comes from knowing that actually you are the boss of your own life.
Fantastic advice – a toxic work environment can be very damaging even after you have moved on.
This is true- I quit my job two weeks ago. This article is spot on- I am probably going to take a job with less money because I have been made to feel so horrible. I have always had a lot of confidence and my last job just wore me out- After reading this- I have made myself a note as I interview today – I am smart- I add a positive to the work place- taking back what was taken from me starting today….
Good Luck Lynn 🙂
Thanks for this advice! Trying to navigate my way through a toxic work environment. Our team manager has favourites and I ain’t one. Our previous team manager loved me and thought everything I did was great. I thrived in that environment. When she left and the new manager joined, I thought my good reputation may have been passed on. I continued working hard and the new manager was impressed… for about a month. Then took a personal dislike to me and started acting like I was rubbish at my job. 90% of the team left and new team members were recruited. Said manager has continued to act like I am rubbish and now I can tell that I’m seen as the weak link in the team. Any achievements are ignored and any mistakes are magnified. I want to leave but I’ve lost so much confidence. On top of this, some of the new recruits, who are all junior to me are the manager’s favourites. So I have junior staff acting like I’m incompetent. People are horrible and some people just shouldn’t be managers.
I am also experiencing the same at my new job which is with a very big company. After much education and no experience, this job which is slightly different than my actual study area is overwhelming.One of my friend’s joined this company 2 months ago and she referred me , it took a while and two interviews but they hired me in a different department with a role not really what i applied for. But as a fresh graduate i took this opportunity to increase my skill level. I feel like i cannot talk to my trainer. When i ask a question, she asks me to follow the training manual or do whatever feels reasonable, which is not very practical(as there are company standards which i get to know later) When i give my work to review on my second practice project which was very complicated, she said this work is quite bad and i will have to catch up. I feel lost a little bit . Any suggestions as to what i can do to show them that i am the right person and hiring me was not a mistake?
That’s part of the learning process. Be gladnypu hd at least direct feedback and learn to act on the moment and ask where are the top priority areas to improve on. It took me years to understand that some managers like to test the reactions of their new employees and willingness to improve. That’s the dummy-proof way to demonstrate this and requires very little effort on your side. You may find yourself starting to love this sort of feedbacl discussions later down the road as they provided perfect opportunity to learn how to please that individual manager – and any other who emphasize the same elements of the work.
You are new, everyone feels like this in a new job. You’ve come from a different environment. Changing from study to work is a jolt. Try and find a humorous way to look at what’s happening and know that your supervisor isn’t your friend. If she says look at the manual do just that and don’t let the bastards get you down
I am sorry to hear that maybe if you did leave you could sue them and get compensation
Don’t be ridiculous. Spend your life on doing something not litigating because it didn’t work out the way you wanted.
Wow your story is almost identical to mine. The only difference is that my new manager seemed to dislike me and my team from the get go. I let it go on so long that I feel there is no way to bounce back. It’s so frustrating and I feel hopeless. On top of that I’m over 40 and don’t feel confident about being considered for other jobs if I quit.
Pure jealousy, the manager is obviously very aware if your abilities and possibly envies same. Still, your talents may be properly appreciated elsewhere!
Good for you. I’ve been in a toxic work environment..
As a single mother I had to endure it to get my pension. I had one abusive boss who shouted at me in a loud harsh tone “I have zero confidence in you” because I wasn’t stuffing papers in a folder fast enough for him. He later left and the next boss I had possessed emotional intelligence and showed respect for what I contributed over my years of service. I identified the former boss as an abuser and bully; but I never let him destroy my inner self worth. Sometimes we’re in a position where we feel we can’t move on and take the abuse hoping he’ll leave; and he did. His own abusive behavior and an ethnic slur he made ended his rise within the organization and he left. I’m glad you didn’t have to endure it and left.
This is great advice. I left a job that I had been at for over 10 years because the management started changing and the environment became very toxic. Prior to this, I had always been able to get along with my coworkers and my bosses seemed to value my work. Even though I knew that the new management was toxic, I felt very rejected because they did not value my skills. To make it worse, they hired someone very under qualified and gave her constant praise.
Even though I have heard from many people that I was a very valuable employee and I was able to find a much better new job, my self esteem is still very fragile after my experience. Other people I worked with had a very similar experience and also felt damaged by the experience.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to get away from toxic work environments. Leaving was one of the best decisions I have ever made. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.
I feel you. Did you leave with ow without having another job lined up?
Same feelings here! Omg I thought I was the only one feeling it. So nice to know someone understands that feeling of not wanting to take another job or see other people because you have a prejudice from bad experience. xoxo
I was in a toxic role and when I left it hit me hard as I did not realise to the extent it had sucked the life out of me. I am still trying to come to terms with it and it has been very difficult and emotional tines. I’ve never experienced anything like this before in my career. My advice is keep your head up and move on as I should have done a long time sooner
I was on the same situation a year ago. I left my job because my boss kept putting me as the villain amongst some of the county leaders/ officials which is really shady and low.His actions was a reflection of insecurity because I knew how to run the department. I don’t regret my decision because it didn’t pay well and my priority was taking care of my dad who was ill at the time. I simply didn’t have time for childish games and trust me he wanted me to think that I wasn’t a valuable asset to the team, but I stuck up for myself and ignored the stupidity. If some other coworker wanted to give me orders I would say I only take orders from the boss and if you have a problem go tell on me.They would keep bitching, but I simply looked away and guess what they shut up. You don’t have to be aggressive just respectful.
I started a new job and started losing my confidence due to how I was spoken to by a colleague. I actually feel like I became so down, negative and toxic to the point I didn’t recognise myself. I tried confronting issue she denied it involved management and it was her word against mine. I asked for a transfer not sure if I should have fronted it out. Now in same job role different location and team but have lost confidence in my ability to do the job. The last job has left me wondering if I should change jobs as I was so unhappy. On reflection I acted impulsively and being unhappy did affect my mental health.
Thanks for the great advice… This has really help me since I am in the same situation right now… Surrounded by this kind of people I am losing my self confidence day by day and its haunting me by having doubt on myself and making me think if I am really a bad team player… But I know that I am doing my level best to achieve my goal/task.
I was in a toxic workplace for 5 years then I moved to another job which was not for my type of education but was dealing with another career which is related to my career
my colleagues were demons or devils they were haters passive aggressives
I moved to another workplace with my broken self where I was easily became a victim for any jerk to vent his buried grudge
I hope to leave but have no courage to leave because I lost my self confidence and has no minimal hope that I would make it in any other place
I just hope to stay alone at my room in my house,or die
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I wish I knew exactly what to reply to your comment that would help. If you think you want to die, please call a suicide hotline number to speak with a person who is trained to respond. Here is the website for one in the United States: http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
I can say that I have spoken with well over a hundred people who at one point in their lives felt trapped in miserable jobs without confidence to go through the job search process again. All of those people are now in better jobs. Their paths varied (some quit, were fired or laid off, or they went on medical leave of absence), and some went immediately into a better job and others didn’t find a decent job until two years later. But all of them are doing fine now.
I’m sending good wishes to you!
Hey Ahmed I have had similar experience. Where I worked with colleagues that talk so harshly and accusative. But the main problem is my manager. He was constantly condemning me by shouting and yelling at me in front of everyone whenever he can find the smallest mistake I made.
I begin to lose confidence in myself and my work, I always second guessing myself, and doubts runs into my head every time I’m doing my task. “Did I overlooked something? Did I follow all the instructions? Did missed out something?”. I took a lot more time to complete my tasks. I was always afraid, I couldn’t function properly, the simplest task seems to be difficult. He begins to treat me so poorly, like I’m a rubbish. Day after day it repeats, its like a bad recycle.
It was my first job after graduation. I’ve lost all my confidence, I doubt I could do public speaking like I used to back when I was an undergrad. My manager torn me up into pieces.
The thought of going to work and seeing his face terrifies me, I don’t want to go work, I just want to stay home.
I have received comment about my personality which is soft spoken, lack of assertiveness and confidence.
Part of me thinking that I actually allow my manager to do this to me, because I rarely defend myself even it was not entirely my fault, i will not confront him, I didn’t talk-back or said anything to reflect of any unfairness about how I was treated. I feel sorry constantly.
I’m so sad to hear that from you even though it’s exactly the same kind of treatment I’m getting and mine was a promotion where the employees at my new position know more than me because there office is smaller so they have greater opportunities to learn more .. it’s embarrassing to even pretend that I’m a supervisor to people who know more and when your manager doesn’t like you it undermines your ability to be your best self and to have people come to you because your boss doesn’t back you and support the transition and it sucks .. but when hearing it from someone else my heart breaks for you and I want to fight your battle and support you and give you suggestions etc.. but isn’t it strange that i can fight or want to help you to fight the injustice but I can’t see that I should think I’m worth fighting for too ..? It’s really sad however you shouldn’t fight back so to speak ..you should document every encounter and practice assertive communication and you too can be more confident in the fact that your just as capable as any one else and there isn’t any one in this world who we should allow to put us down that’s aggresssive bullying behavior.. and you don’t deserve that and what makes their opinion valid .. you have to trust your own judgement and then do your best to fake that your happy and not affected by anything said
This can happen to anyone, any place, at any age. I went through a 4-year period where I was pushed out of a job I loved by a new and very insecure manager. The next job only lasted 6 months because of a much younger, inexperienced and insecure manager. The job after that only lasted 6 months because I was so scarred by the previous experiences, I became insecure and wouldn’t stand up for myself. Three short-term jobs followed before I moved to another state and found a fantastic job where they value my 30+ years of experience. It’s been 2 years and I’m just now regaining the self-confidence I once had. If you suddenly find yourself in a bad situation, it may not be about you, but it does affect you. Protect yourself and get out. Find a new job and a place where you will be valued for the person you are. This is a temporary situation. You are in control and can change your life.
Thank you for writing this. Sometimes it’s perspective that’s needed above all else.
Fresh out of a good college and armed with an MBA I was full of confidence and a drive to excel. Until I was unceremoniously fired from my very first job. For a beginner I was good at my work. This was something the owner-manager himself had admitted. After a first productive month the spotlight began to shift in the organization towards me. He liked being the cynosure of all attention for fifteen years, was used to it. Irked he began a slow, methodical approach to shatter my confidence – telling me I was doing a terrible job, giving me impossible-to-achieve targets and work that was beyond my job role. Still I persisted, pushed myself, put in extra hours, took work home…I guess, I was trying to please him and prove to myself that I could do this.
Thinking back I know what I did was very wrong. I should’ve quit that toxic environment but I loved my work. Things came to a head when he changed tactics. If you’re young and female that can be very, very scary…I declared to my coworkers that I meant to leave, word reached him just as I had expected and he fired me. I was actually relieved when he did. In those last days the environment had become so heavy and depressing, I almost couldn’t breathe.
It took me two months to just come to a normal state of mind and another, to find a new job. This job gave me lesser opportunities but the work environment was conducive enough to regain at least a little of my lost self-confidence.
A year and a half later I can say I have kind of moved on safely but I still get jittery at times. I wish I could just erase those horrific three months at that company from my mind.
Hi,it all started when i became a supervisor at my previous job.I did my work very well even when I’m two days off wen i go back to work I would do some work that my co-workers didn’t do but with all of my hard work everythng that went wrong I was to blame,they made me feel like i was unworthy of the position,they made me feel like i don’t belong there.So I took a big step and quit my job.suprisingly the other manager called and told me why don’t u come back to withdraw my resignation and work again but firstly I need to come and speak to him as he heard rumours.After his call I felt hurt it was like he opened a wound inside of me,it is now that i know that the experience has broken me inside and i don’t want to go back there…I thought I’m crazy, why would I feel like this for a job but i can see that it is normal after a bad experience…
The most important thing you must know is ” You are more important than the situation in which you are dreading yourself”. you are not a slave so why suffer at the hands of anyone. if you are there only for financial reasons than there are ways in which you can lower your standards and work only to cover them if that’s what brings you happiness. societal norms have created more negetive and depressed people than ever.
the one problem which most people have is not to be able to see a solution in a given problem. there are plenty of jobs that can pay. maybe u r best suited for a part time or might benefit from a vocational course that allows you the freedom of working a diff skill. you could also be a trainer or entrepreneur or work in a non corporate culture. please remember you don’t have to undergo torture for the rest of ur life. in fact the only thing u need to do is to do what makes u happy.
let’s say you find a figure required to sustain yor min standard of living. you could work till u arrive at least half of that or even better 75% and leave work to find part time opp. if you can try living with parents or your partner. your expenses will dramatically reduce and so will yor stress and anxiety. use this much needed time to work out, go for movies (off hours on weekdays at throwaway deals and stay away from eating out. you will realize you don’t need much to live a decent happy life. what you need can easily be made working either part time or other less paying jobs that don’t make you miserable.
Thank you. Your advise have help me realize I don’t need to live in bad situations for the rest of my life.
Still in the same position. After having education, professional qualifications and 12 years experience in large companies, I was let go due to management change. Now, after 7 months unemployed I have to work at a salary which i earned 8 years ago. Yet now I have 2 children, but at that time i had none. Sometimes I blame my son’s birth as my wife got pregnant just a few days before I got the notice from my employer. Now I feel that all these achievements are just pieces of paper. Don’t even have the willingness to continue work at office. Just on various websites.
Giving birth is a miracle from God. It had nothing to do with the toxic environment in which you worked. It’s the idiots you worked for.
Every job that I have had I’ve been the target of abuse. I’ve had my work stolen I’ve had me touch me inappropriately etc., as of right now today I don’t have a job and going broke. It is very hard not to take these things personally but if you have worked in 4 toxic environment all in different industry’s it could be very damaging to your psyche.
Very good point about your role and understanding who are you and what you are not.
This is a cornestone point everyone struggling with selfconfidence in workplace should start with.
This is why I referred to your post in my blog.
Thank you very much for your help!
This happened about 4 years ago but it still affects me.
Forced Out
messages – The accounts manager called for her one day. He told me a joke and said make sure and tell her. I catch sight of her when she was going into her office and I told her. She went to another secretary blocked her face and said something to her. Then, she went downstairs to the accounts manager. Whatever she told him about me must be pretty nasty because when the accounts manager was upstairs he told me, “I would not let her talk to you like that, we probably would both get fired but”. But she did not talk to me. She was talking to everybody else, slandering my name with obviously nasty, nasty things.
Former administrative assistant
Her former administrative assistant, well, I don’t know where she come out but she come out. She sent my boss, her resume saying she need a job for a few months. My boss was like she could come here in my position. But other administrative assistant said but I already here. May God have mercy on me.
Resignation Day
I cannot tell you everything that happened that day. It went terribly wrong. Even though, I know they were going to come at me 10 times more and probably do everything in their power to destroy my life, I felt a relief. But I did not know how I was going to survive the last month mentally, I taught it was going to be the worst month of my life. An administrative assistant said,”My boss did not like her at all.” The administrative manager told my boss,” You need a professional”. May God have mercy on me.
Mr. R
My boss went abroad for a week and a half. She told me when the person come in to sign the document, Mr. R will oversee it. The person did not come in as scheduled. A few days later, the person came in without calling first. Mr. R’s secretary was not at her desk. I checked to see whether Mr. R was in his office. He was. I then went to look for his secretary. The person indicated she had a car waiting on her. I told the secretary that. She told Mr. R,”I said the person has a car waiting on her.” He told the secretary to reschedule. Then Mr. R went and tell Mr. M and told him that I was standing outside his door. Mr. M said ,”she standing outside your door? Let me close mine yes.” Then, Mr. R made a remark to his secretary. She laughed. The next day, the secretary told the administrative assistant who everyone said is “the BOSS”. “the BOSS” told a partner. The partner remark was “like nobody want her there”.
Last day
My boss asked me whether I wanted to go to lunch. I made an excuse last minute. I did not want to go to lunch with her for obvious reasons. Everyone knows she hates me. Midday, she is asking me if I changed my mind loudly about leaving. This woman is so deceitful. At the end of the day, she said, “Go home” loudly. Even though she directed it to me, she said in an undertone, “He hear meh?, Good”. She wanted Mr. M to hear. He did. He closed his door.
Mr. R’s wife
About a month after I left. I got a phone call. It was Mr. R’s wife asking me if I was interested in a secretarial position. I should have said no but I said yes. Long story short, the position was advertised late. I did not get through. But how can she asked someone who her husband complain about. How can I be so stupid after all that I went through put myself in a position where they can destroy my life. I was desperate. But I also felt in fear of my life. They are capable of anything.
I wrote all of this because I want it out of my head. Mental captivity is stronger than physical captivity.
I am sorry to read this. I don’t really understand your situation however I completely agree with your last sentence. I have had the year from hell work wise and although I am no longer in the work place the saga continues and will remain unresolved for at least another few months.
The amount of hours and days I spend thinking about what has happened. Why did managers and colleagues act in certain ways and what could I and should I have done differently. It has effected my whole life. Just thinking about what has happened brings me to tears every time. This was a brave step into a new career and I have failed. Now I need to go backwards take a lower paid job if I get one at a stage in my life where I should have been moving forward. Entering a new working environment is terrifying, what if I am not good enough.
It feels as if no one can truely understand the effect this whole experience has had on me.
This was extreamly refreshing to read. It was almost as if it was written about the past year of my current position. It’s nice to know that we can get through this, persevere and we are not alone in these situations.
I needed to read this today. I left a job last week. I went to work at a place I had past history with. I used to be a client of theirs in fact. I took a job in customer service with them. Being in this industry (jewelry) I knew it would be challenging. I dealt with my manager in the past placing orders with her ….she was always professional. But from the get-go something was wrong. First, my manager explained to me that Ann took her lunch first, then she took her lunch, and when she got back I took my lunch. Problem was, my manager would not take her lunch until 1pm, 1:30, 2pm….never offering to tell me to go since she was busy or not hungry. One time I took lunch at 2:45pm. Other people noticed and told me to say something. I finally did ask her if she wasn’t hungry could I go. She never said no but it was never offered otherwise. (We get 30 minutes for lunch) Manager never took her 2 -10 minute breaks so no one else did. However, she had her own office so she could sit there and take a break so I never really knew. She went on vacation for a week and when she came back, Ann quit. So now we are down to my manager and myself in customer service. I stayed to help her because even though I had planned to quit, I felt I could not do that to her. I stayed and they brought back a retiree that had worked there for 25 years temporarily to help. She was a bitter woman. They told me I could take my lunch at noon now. And I could work 8-4:30 instead of 8:30-5pm if I wanted. My commute on the freeway was hard and so I agreed. That was the only positive thing; getting home early. This has been the hardest winter in the Midwest for driving on the freeway. I asked the bitter retiree to tell me an item number I was not familiar with. She corrected herself a few times telling me no, this is the number since she couldn’t seem to remember what it was. So I repeated the number, typed it in and the computer didn’t like it. This was said respectively and politely. It is not my nature to belittle or make someone feel bad. I was looking down at some papers and heard her say, “I’m going to hit you….” I’m still looking down and then got whacked on the head. I was stunned. I couldn’t say anything I was so shocked. It felt like a heavy magazine rolled up hitting the top of my head. That happened on a Friday. I went home and told my husband. He told me I had to confront that. I did on Monday morning. She tried to make me out as a trouble-maker and said, “Well, I might as well be done then!” I told her you don’t have to go that far but you should know I would never do that to you or anyone else. That it wasn’t right. That I don’t think you intended to do physical harm or hurt me but it was hurtful and disrespectful. She still wouldn’t completely back down or apologise so I said maybe that type of thing flies in her world but doesn’t fly in mine. That’s when I got an apology and a hug. But it was short-lived because she just kept on with her rude behavior until she was done after they hired another person. I never went to HR and never told the owner because he’s a jerk too and this woman was short-term being dragged out of retirement to help so…what was the point. I had been there 3 months. I stayed for 6 1/2 months. 6 months too long. Got a nice card from someone in another department and will keep in touch. But the owner heavily contributes to this toxic culture and I am glad I left. I made myself sick from the stress. I feel it affected me physically and spiritually. The owner liked to say God bless to people but constantly drops the F-bomb. Would be on the phone with customers and he’s in the background ranting and dropping the f-bomb and I’m hoping the customer can’t hear that. I think there are a lot of screwed up, mean, hateful people out there nowadays. And people like me who don’t like drama or confrontation or stirring the pot they like to see how far they can push you. It’s messed up.
You have no idea how grateful I am to have discovered the article, “Regaining Confidence After a Bad Work Experience.” I was truly at the point of TOTALLY giving up; I am still in the process of ‘trying” to believe in myself again, in order to attempt to enter the workforce once again. I have a Masters plus thirty, and can teach physics, chemistry, biology, physical science, and for fun…I have been thrown a couple of Algebra II classes along the way; I also served for two semesters as a University adjunct professor. This was all prior to 2015 when, for the last four years, I have had one job disappointment after another, so much so, I had become a hermit; during this time, my mother, spouse,aunt, two uncles, my favorite four legger friend Samson ALL died. I “thought” I still had something to offer the world that would truly make a difference…but for the last four years, I have had ZERO identity…its what we call the EMPTY SET in math. I honestly must keep reading and believing this material..as I do NOT wish to give up, however, I “think” I need a new geographical setting…even though I know nasty “peeps” exist everywhere…maybe it would take me a while to figure out who they are so I could avoid them. My experiences took me from being a normally outgoing, people loving person to one who has begun to feel absolutely useless, and NOT needed…but I refuse to accept that. Thank You for such a well written and “spot-on” article!! You very well may have saved my life. My long time goal was to go back to school, and work on my doctorate, and USE my brain cells,…and in so doing, rediscover who I really AM. I would love to instruct at the university level.
Hi Jana, I have been out of my toxic workplace 18 months now. I am fortunate enough to have been financially supported to take this time. I think emotionally I am slowly coming out the other side now and beginning to regain my sense of worth. Reading your post you have been through a lot. Give yourself a hug – you have done so well. Can you afford to go back to uni? If so then I think you should. From reading your post I feel that is your true passion and the one that will make you feel good again. Good luck.
Gillian, Thanks for responding. I am currently trying to sell my home..and possibly move to an area where there is a good doctoral program in possibly science and math education?!? However, the area I live in is economically depressed, thus the housing market has followed suit.
My situation is one I would not wish on anyone, but I know ALL people go through down times…my problem is, I always thought I could rebound from anything fairly quickly but the barrage of incidents proved me wrong. I discovered I really am HUMAN afterall with feelings, and ability to fall prey to depression and anxiety.
I do believe a turnaround is on the way because…everyone NEEDS a break right. And you are correct, I really have always had the goal to work on my doctorate, and teach at a university, and be known as Dr. J!! Thanks for the encouragement.
I am still trying to bounce back from quitting a job 9 months ago. The three years I spent in that role was filled with fear. My manager was the head of HR (not officially though – the Head of HR had been got rid of so they couldn’t use that job title anymore) and she would give poor references for former employees over the phone. She had anecdotes of how she and her line manager had stopped former employees from gaining new roles by giving bad references and they were proud of this fact. Obviously it created a very toxic environment. I should have done what my predecessors had done – and that was to leave soon after starting, but I felt it would look bad on my CV. By the time I left, I was being treated as the office joke. I was being openly ridiculed, told I was a liar and that my work was poor. The only way I could keep up with the workload was to stay late, but even this was not good enough. I was told that the workload was fine and that I should be able to complete it within the day. So I had to work the extra hours secretly. The roles prior to this I was highly regarded with my work ethic and dedication being commended, but now, after this experience, I am left with my confidence shattered and so little energy. All I want is a job where I go to work, do the job and forget about it when I come home. I have nothing left of myself to give to another company. My dedication, excitement, and flare has escaped me and guess what- it shows! Three interviews, all for jobs I could do easily standing on my head, all unsuccessful. And I know why: I ooze of a lack of confidence and negative attitude. All the while, I know that if I do successfully pass an interview, it could all be messed up by one phone call to my former employer for a reference.
I am greatly encouraged by this article – to know that others have found themselves in similar situations and yet have recovered and moved on. I have let my former employer continue to have the power over me and it’s time to take it back. I’ve done some temporary work since, so I may be able to by-pass their nasty little bad-verbal-reference game once and for all and start contributing to society in the best way I can. Thank you for the article.
I have had a horrible shift where I must of lost my momentum with a multicarer run, as I forgot a little thing like looping straps, the coworker decided to totally rubbish me to the boss and I suspect she lied about one accusation, but I have no way of proving it as my recollective memory can be rubbish. This really has felt like a punch in the psychie. She took full advantage of me having not done a multicarer run for a while. I have been given a work based councelling number to ring which I have, plus I have had family illness to deal with too. These tips will be my aid. I have been left feeling like I have no worth as an employee and am trying to figure out who I am again.
My last job destroyed my confidence. I worked hard but it was the folks that gossiped with the manager and/or took credit for my work that got promoted. To add insult to injury, I was treated like a junior engineer even though I helped everyone else with their issues and trained others.