Tag: bad boss
Lots of people are quitting their jobs. How about you?
Lately there have been a lot of news stories about “the great resignation.” Some employees are quitting because they do not want to return to the office after experiencing the benefits of working from home. Others are reevaluating their priorities in life, and want to make changes that help them enjoy more of their working hours.
There are some similarities to how employees felt during and after the housing recession around 2007 – 2012. During the recession, there were mass layoffs and some employers cut benefits. Yet workloads did not change. The remaining employees struggled to fill the gaps and do more work with fewer resources. Employer attitudes were that staff should be grateful to have jobs when many did not.
When businesses started growing again and hiring in greater numbers, employees who were burned out and fed up had more new opportunities to choose from. And they chose them!
This time around, workers seem to feel even more empowered to leave their jobs for something better. A quick internet search for “negotiating working from home” pulls up several pages of results from the past year. And it is not only people seeking remote work who are quitting. Workers are looking for employers who will treat them well. Employees are less likely to put up with bad managers, brutal workloads, or inflexible workplace policies when there are other options.
If you are tempted to leave a bad job but need a little nudge, I’ve got a few nudges in the “quitting” category on my blog Quitting : Truth and Details.
Struggling at work
If you’re struggling to succeed at work and are constantly getting feedback about the ways that you are underperforming, it doesn’t mean that you’re incompetent. It could mean:
- Your workload or deadlines are unrealistic
- Your manager has different priorities or expectations for the job than you do
- There is a gap between your skills and the job requirements
These issues are solvable. Workloads and deadlines are negotiable. Priorities can be discussed and agreed upon. Training or mentoring can be provided to raise skill levels.
If your manager is unwilling to discuss and implement changes that would improve your performance, then the job is a bad fit. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad worker if you don’t have the characteristics needed for a particular job. It just means that it isn’t the right job for you.
The unideal workplace
When I finally lost my idealism about work, I was embarrassed that it took so long.
In the early years of my career, I believed that the workplace would be a fair and rationale environment. When situations occasionally arose that led me to think, “that’s a waste of company money” or “it is unethical to treat people like that,” I was indignant.
It just seemed…wrong. And shocking, because it was the opposite of my worldview that people are mostly honest, hard-working and strive to do the right thing.
Over time, I realized that I had been extremely naïve. When I began noticing all the ways that workplaces enable bad behavior, I grew jaded.
It was many years later before I changed my beliefs again. My more pragmatic outlook these days is that while people don’t always act ethically, most organizations aren’t riddled with corruption.
I realize that it is human nature to prioritize self-interest. Sometimes the pressure of meeting deadlines or budgets or unrealistic expectations leads people to make choices that they wouldn’t have made if they felt like they had better options.
Even people at the highest levels of organizations who sometimes seem truly rotten can at least be understood, if not sympathized with. They may be driven to succeed at all costs because of insecurity or by a lack of empathy. They may be pressured by their stakeholders. Or maybe they just don’t have the capacity as a human being to treat other people with respect – and that’s sad.
It’s much less surprising or disappointing to me now when I see bad behavior. Instead of focusing on the wrongness of it, I try to widen my perspective to include the possibility that the people involved are doing the best they can with the circumstances they’re in. It’s not ideal, but it’s real.
How to Survive a Horrible Boss
Unfortunately, most of us will report to a boss that we hate at least once in our working lives. If it is just once, consider yourself lucky. I have a friend who has reported to five complete jerks and only two normal people in 15 years. It has been so tough on her that whenever she leaves one jerk behind to take a new role, I’m scared that the new boss will turn out to be just as jerky as the last.
A horrible boss can take many forms. She might yell at you or humiliate you. He might take credit for your work and blame you for his mistakes. She could try to sabotage your career out of spite. He could constantly change the direction of your projects, favor your teammates while disparaging you to others, threaten to fire you, or otherwise bully or harass you. Do any of these characteristics remind you of someone you’ve reported to?
The good news is that if you are stuck with a lousy manager, there are coping mechanisms that you can use until you or the creep move on.
One: Make friends with your boss’s peers. This is a strategic maneuver. If your boss’s peer group respects and likes you, then your boss has more to lose by treating you poorly. For example, if you provide information, resources, or anything else of value to another team within your department and you do it well, that team will not want you to get fired or quit in frustration. Get to know the managers of these groups. Show interest in them. Ask how you can provide additional value.
If the people in these teams don’t provide positive feedback to your manager on their own and you have an ally you can trust, ask that person to send an email touting your contribution. If you are visible in the department as someone whom other teams respect and depend on, your manager may grudgingly treat you better.
Two: Make friends with your boss’s boss. As with your boss’s peer group, being visible to your boss’s boss is essential. This person must know your name and recognize you when he or she sees you. If your work culture supports “skip-level” meetings, take advantage of it. Find out what this person cares about, worries about and what the goals are for his or her area of responsibility. Then think of smart questions to ask that will be easy for that person to answer. Ask about factors that contributed to recent successes. Treat the person like a respected mentor – say that you want to excel in your role and ask how he or she achieved career growth.
When you pass your boss’s boss in the halls, say hello and add any personal comment that is appropriate. If he or she has only recently met you, start off with, “Hi Cheryl, it was great to meet you the other day. I’m Joe Smith on Roger’s team. Thanks for the advice on the XYZ.”
Be natural and genuine, not smarmy!
Then when it is time for your boss to get approval for who to gives promotions or bonuses to, or how individuals are rated in performance reviews, your odds of having a favorable outcome are significantly increased than if you are completely unknown.
Three: Document your work and email it to your boss. Figure out a schedule that is not obnoxiously often and not so far apart that it is forgettable. Maybe every Friday, or once every two weeks. Keep it short so you don’t waste time and so that it has a better chance of being read. Even if it isn’t read, it is a record of your performance that you can bring up in meetings with your manager. This exercise is to cover your ass, so make sure your boss can’t use the excuse that your emails got lost in her inbox.
A good format is to make the subject line “Joe Smith’s Project Update, October 2, 2015″, then make a bullet list of three to six in-progress or completed projects. Use as much hard data as you can to support results. Examples:
- Closed $128K in hardware sales last week, and am at 102% of my quarterly quota.
- Delivered the Safety Training to 56 client teams year-to-date. The pass-rate is 92% vs. the goal of 90%, and satisfaction survey results are 95% vs. the goal of 90%. Satisfaction is currently 10% higher than last year.
- Delivered the ABC parts to XYZ customer on October 1, 2015, four days ahead of the due date. Received a thank you email from XYZ’s purchasing manager, Jane Smith.
Four: Document your boss’s poor behavior towards you. In any crappy work situation, documentation is critical. Many public and private sector organizations require managers or the Human Resources department to create a paper trail of documentation before they fire an employee to cover their tracks in case of a complaint or lawsuit.
Turn the tables and create your own documentation about how your manager treats you. Think of it as insurance in case you need to use it to protect your reputation. Document dates, verbatim quotes, witnesses and how the action violated the employee handbook (if applicable).
Your record of events may protect you if the situation gets worse. If your boss violates company policy towards you, maybe she has done the same to other people. Someone may have raised complaints in the past. If you decide to speak up or find yourself defending your integrity, your notes are likely to impact the outcome.
If you are fired, you might be able to use the documentation to get unemployment benefits. I know people in multiple states who have done this!
Or, you might choose to never disclose your notes. If so, it wasn’t a wasted effort. The act of documenting your reality is cathartic and can prevent you from feeling like you are the crazy one. Bad managers often specialize in lowering employees’ self-esteem and making them feel like failures. Don’t let them have that power over you.
Five: Remember that your manager doesn’t own you. I deliberately avoided using the terminology for a manager as someone “you work for.” You actually work for the organization – your manager is just the person you report to. I don’t even like the word “boss”…because you are the boss of your life and that person is only charged with the responsibility to manage you as an employee.
Your work is one part of your life, not your whole life. Don’t let your manager “follow you home” and ruin your weekends. Make that person as insignificant in your life as possible by focusing on what you do have influence over (see numbers 1 – 4!).
If you are currently dealing with a horrible manager, I hope you will have a new manager soon! Refresh your resume and LinkedIn profile. Get testimonials about your performance if possible (see numbers 1 and 2!). Save copies of your achievements and kudo’s from coworkers or customers (see number 3!). Brush up on any important skills and stay on top of current trends and technologies in your field.
And until then, I hope these tactics help you survive.
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