Tag: damage control

Some of my worst moments at work were when I pissed somebody off. Fortunately, I can only remember a handful of times when someone was really angry with me. And even more fortunately, I learned early on in my career how to do damage control.

I took a 12 week Dale Carnegie course that changed my life for the better in many ways, and learning to recover when someone became angry with me at work is one of them. I recommend the course to anyone who wants to improve at public speaking, human relations and leadership. But if you just want me to get to the point about damage control, here it is:

Say that you were wrong.

Or the way Dale Carnegie states it in his Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People: “If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”

I had just learned about this principle when I managed to piss off an entire team of people that I was working with at the time. Upper management had decided that I would take over a program that they had been responsible for and I jumped in without discussing the change with them.

When the situation blew up, I felt terrible. I should have scheduled a meeting with them and positioned the change as a way to alleviate some of their workload. Instead, it came across as if I was stealing their project without considering what they wanted.

I immediately went to each person and apologized, said that I was wrong, and asked if we could have a meeting to make a group decision about how to manage the program in the future.

I remember those conversations very clearly. They all responded to me graciously and thanked me for approaching them. Sincerely acknowledging that I was wrong made me vulnerable and was disarming. I didn’t bring defensiveness or justifications to the conversations so there were no battles.

The nervousness that I felt when I knocked on their office doors was much less painful than the remorse and anxiety of upsetting them and making a mistake that could have damaged my career. By doing immediate damage control, my career wasn’t damaged at all. In fact, those team members had more respect for me than they did before; our working relationships improved.

That experience made a deep impression on me. I’ve only made a few fury-inducing work mistakes since then and am grateful I that I know how to manage them.