Tag: expectations
You don’t have to sprint all the time
There are times when a big presentation or project deadline takes extra time and effort to complete. Sometimes it’s exciting because I get to showcase my best work. Usually, it’s just a slog to finish in time and someone higher up the chain gets the glory.
Either way, sprints should be infrequent.
I’ve had roles where there was so much pressure to deliver an unrealistic workload that I ran on adrenaline for 10 – 12 hours every weekday. I’ll never do that again.
If a role requires more work than can be achieved in roughly 40 hours per week, it’s not a one-person role. If management is unwilling to prioritize then they are not the kind of employer I’d like to work for. If they load the calendar with meetings, leaving no time during the day for actual work, then it’s not the right culture for me. If they demand an excessive amount of tracking work vs. doing work, then I wouldn’t be happy. If they believe working 50 – 60 hours per week for a 40 hour per week paycheck is reasonable, then they don’t respect their employees and I wouldn’t respect them as managers.
A fast pace with long hours might produce results in the short-term, but it isn’t a sustainable model for productivity or morale. I’ve burned out from working like that in the past and I regret it. When I set boundaries and stick with them, I’m happier, I make fewer mistakes, and I meet my deadlines.
There’s no good reason to sprint all the time.
Learning from experiences
Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.
-Victoria Holt
Lately I’ve had several work and personal situations that followed the same pattern:
- I put a lot of time and effort into a project.
- It did not go as I had hoped, and I was disappointed.
- Then, something changed, and the project turned out even better than I planned.
After noticing this trend, I reflected on how I had dealt with the disappointments. I was glad that I hadn’t wasted too much energy feeling frustrated, angry or sad because in each case, things ended up better than I had originally hoped for.
I’m glad for the positive endings. But even if I hadn’t been happily surprised, what good would it have done to dwell on the negative? Naturally, I was dissatisfied when at first, I didn’t get the results I wanted. However, those feelings were softened by focusing on what I had learned from the experiences.
In addition to the coincidence of this pattern occurring several times within a few weeks, what I remember is that the positive outcomes were unexpected. I was going down paths with clear visions of end results that did not materialize.
As it turned out, the work I did along the way was the important part. I learned from the experience…and it turned out wonderfully.
Dogs, Communication, and Letting Go of Expectations
She’s cute but she’s going to tell you exactly how it is.
I’m not an anthropomorphist. I appreciate all sentient beings’ abilities to communicate in their own ways. However, I got caught up in imposing my own idea for entertaining my parents’ dog Ruby when they visited recently. And as a result, got to experience how Ruby communicated her different outlook on the situation.
Normally when I visit my parents’ house, I bring a dog cookie from a local pet supply store. They are baked, healthy, and shaped as hearts, footballs and cupcakes, coated with a yogurt frosting. Ruby loves these cookies. First she will take one and hide it somewhere, like under a couch cushion. Then she’ll retrieve it to show it off to the humans in the house before hiding it somewhere new. If she remembers where she hid one, she’ll eat it at some point. Otherwise my mom will find one in her purse one day, or in the toe of a slipper.
A prized doggie cookie.
When my parents visited me with Ruby, I thought it would be fun to take her to the pet store and let her get a cookie directly from the source.
Ruby is an adorable white, waggie puff of a dog. She loves to greet friends and strangers alike, but has mixed feelings about other canines. As we went in the store, the owner’s large, old huskie was lying on the doormat. His dog isn’t always there, but when he is I like to stop and pet him for a while. But this time I wasn’t sure how Ruby would react, so the owner shuffled his big dog behind the counter.
Then as my mom and I were debating which cookie was the cutest, Ruby pooped on the doormat. The owner took it well, but we were so embarrassed.
And because I go through life experiencing situations as metaphors and parables, I realized that I had created an unrealistic expectation of Ruby. In my mind, I imagined she would be excited to get her favorite cookie at the store where I buy them. In reality, Ruby was concerned about letting the owner’s dog know that she was making her mark on his space.
Ruby’s direct communication was a reminder that having a positive attitude about any event and hoping it will go well is fine, but all kinds of things are beyond our control. Other people (and animals) act on their own autonomy and unexpected factors are part of many situations. Things may not turn out the way we envision them.
So there’s the moral of the story. If you fixate on the outcome of events instead of letting them unfold as they will, sometimes all you end up with is shit on the carpet.
“Yes I want the cookie but I’m just going to poop here so the other dog knows I’m no pushover. ‘kay? Cool.”
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