Tag: learning from negative experiences
Learning from experiences
Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.
-Victoria Holt
Lately I’ve had several work and personal situations that followed the same pattern:
- I put a lot of time and effort into a project.
- It did not go as I had hoped, and I was disappointed.
- Then, something changed, and the project turned out even better than I planned.
After noticing this trend, I reflected on how I had dealt with the disappointments. I was glad that I hadn’t wasted too much energy feeling frustrated, angry or sad because in each case, things ended up better than I had originally hoped for.
I’m glad for the positive endings. But even if I hadn’t been happily surprised, what good would it have done to dwell on the negative? Naturally, I was dissatisfied when at first, I didn’t get the results I wanted. However, those feelings were softened by focusing on what I had learned from the experiences.
In addition to the coincidence of this pattern occurring several times within a few weeks, what I remember is that the positive outcomes were unexpected. I was going down paths with clear visions of end results that did not materialize.
As it turned out, the work I did along the way was the important part. I learned from the experience…and it turned out wonderfully.
Remembering What Was Good About A Bad Job
Last weekend I spent time with a friend that I met when I was at a not-so-favorite job. Let’s just say that particular job had many challenges. And not the exhilarating kind that lead to career success and personal fulfillment.
I hadn’t seen this friend in a long time and it popped into my head that her friendship was one of the best things I got from that job. We had a lot of fun while we helped each other cope.
That made me want to remember the other positive outcomes that came from a difficult work experience. Here are a few:
- I am passionate about the projects I managed and am proud of what I accomplished.
- I got to explore two specific types of marketing that I was less familiar with. I built solid skills in those areas that gave me the necessary qualifications for future work.
- I formed friendships and trusted relationships with colleagues that are still important to me.
These benefits are obvious to me, and I acknowledge them when they impact me. When I thought about it more I realized there are less obvious and more personal benefits:
- I learned what my boundaries are and sharpened the line between what I am and am not willing to do to succeed in business.
- I finally accepted that business isn’t always fair. Accepting this killed some of my idealism. However, it affirmed the type of businessperson I am and made it easier to detach from the fairness of an outcome that is not in my control.
- I changed my definition of success. Climbing the corporate ladder is only one way of evaluating success. There are many different ways to be successful in business – not to mention in life.
It takes time to recover after leaving a negative job, just as it does when leaving any significant relationship that was painful. If you’re recently out of a tough work situation I hope that you allow yourself to be angry about what wasn’t right and grieve for the hopes you had for that role.
Eventually, I hope you will also remember what you gained.
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