Tag: tiny decisions
Tiny steps to cope with a bad job
Earlier this week my yoga teacher asked the class to think about joy. Are we cultivating it in our lives? Our focus for the session was to infuse our practice with the feeling and expression of joy.
I’m someone who finds it easier to self-reflect than to generate the feeling of joy on-command. When asked to think about something joyful and remember how it feels, my first instinct is to think of beloved beings from my past. Namely, my grandmother and my cat Milo, neither of whom are still living – so then I feel sad.
My second instinct is to think of something wonderful that is present in my life. While I’m grateful that my current projects and personal connections generate much happiness, thinking about them in this context makes me feel a bit anxious. Because as with my grandmother and cat, I can’t help but imagine what it will be like when they’re gone.
I realized that if I want to intentionally create the feeling of happiness in a moment, I need to think about something with much lower stakes. Luckily the 2019 VMA awards just happened and the clip of Lizzo performing “Truth Hurts” and “Good as Hell” makes me smile and sing along every time (seriously…I watched it for the 20th time in 3 days and still shout “yeah!” with her at the end). Lizzo’s own video for “Truth Hurts” also makes me stop what I’m doing and dance every time I watch it.
Side note: If someone would make a mashup video of Lizzo’s “Boys” and Macklemore’s “Downtown” my life would be complete.
This experience made me think about how hard it can be to feel peace, let alone happiness, when work sucks. When you dread going to the worksite every day and come home exhausted, the negativity is overwhelming. It’s a weight that tends to stay with us even in our off hours.
It’s not easy to rise up out of the heavy feelings caused by a bad work situation but the secret is to make the tiniest effort. It is natural to focus on things that take larger amounts of time, energy and focus, like finding a new job and all the steps that go along with that…finding job listings, refreshing your LinkedIn profile, lining up references…
Landing a new job that’s a better fit is important to work towards, but it’s also important to cope in the meantime. Making sure there are moments of feeling happy and lighthearted can keep downward spirals away and reminds us that there is more to life than our jobs.
If you feel like you’re drowing in a negative work environment, try spending some time every day thinking about what little things still make you happy or are pleasurable. The tinier the better because it’s an entry point to get past feelings of anxiety, sadness, or overwhelm. Then don’t stop at the thoughts of something positive; feel it in your body, too.
Eating something you like for lunch? Awesome, enjoy what it tastes like. Focus on it. Make the most of the meal. Hot shower? It feels good to soak in the steamy air and get clean. Notice that. It doesn’t exactly feel “happy” as much as it feels relaxing and calming. That works just as well! Or like me, take 3 minutes to watch a video that makes you smile. Then you can ask yourself:
Tiny Decisions
When you feel stuck in a bad job, it can seem like there’s no good solution. The obvious choices are often weighty ones that have a big impact on your life.
Quit? Try a different career? Move to a new city?
A new job can change your hours, commute, paycheck, the type of people you spend your day with – in addition to changing what you actually do at work. It can be overwhelming to think about all the ways your life will be altered – and tempting to do nothing to avoid the risk of making the wrong decision.
But doing nothing keeps you feeling stuck.
You don’t have to make all-or-nothing decisions.
Making one tiny decision at a time reduces pressure and could ultimately create a better outcome. Each tiny decision has low stakes, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t like the results of any particular choice. Whether you like the results or not, you’ve got the feedback you need to help you make the next tiny decision.
For example, a common tiny decision would be looking at job postings for a company you think you’d enjoy working for. If you like what you read, the next tiny decision might be looking up employee reviews on Glassdoor. Or finding people who’ve worked there and ask them about their experience.
If at any point you don’t like what you’ve learned, you can stop going down that path and try a completely different tiny decision. Like taking a free online course in a subject that interests you. If you dislike it – quit. Then try something else. Maybe you are still interested in the topic, but reading articles about it will be a better fit than taking an online course.
Here’s an analogy for the difference between making one giant decision or a series of tiny decisions: A giant decision is like leaping from the starting point of a race to the finish line. Tiny decisions are like taking one step at a time, choosing where to put each footstep. The first way gets you there faster, and if you are confident that you’ll like the result – great. But if you’re unsure, smaller steps let you change direction more easily, while still propelling you forward.
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