Tag: toxic work environment
A step towards a better job
Many people who spoke to me about quitting bad jobs told me it took two years for them to recover from the stress and negativity they had left behind. They came from different industries and their workplaces were toxic for different reasons. What they had in common was that they all moved on to better roles, and they were all happier because of it.
It can take time to find better work and recover from bad experiences. Starting small and starting now is a great way to stop feeling stuck and begin feeling empowered. Updating a resume or looking at job postings are actions within our control. A small step is still forward progress.
There is nothing virtuous about tolerating a toxic workplace
Coping with a bad job while you search for something better? Great. Doing what you need to do to pay the bills until you can move on? Sometimes necessary.
But there is nothing virtuous about staying in a toxic work environment just because you think you should be able to handle it. Tolerating bad treatment on the job doesn’t earn you a badge of honor.
Your experiences are valid
I recently had a pain in my body so strong that it kept me awake for four nights. I didn’t know what was causing it. When I saw my doctor, she didn’t seem to know what the problem was or think it was a serious issue. For a moment, I started to question if the sleeplessness and severity of the pain was really a big deal. As the appointment was wrapping up, she mentioned that I could get a test before I left.
When the test results came in, it showed a definitive cause of the pain. The treatment was just a strong dose of Ibuprofen and the issue eventually resolved itself. I was elated. I felt relieved to know what the problem was and that there was a simple treatment. But much more than that, I felt vindicated. The test results were undisputable, and proved to the doctor that I wasn’t exaggerating or having a psychosomatic issue, imagining my discomfort.
The reason for this story that is both too vague and too personal is that there was pain. Whether or not the test uncovered the reason for the pain, there was pain. I was awake for four nights and there was no reason for me to try to convince myself that that experience was any different from what it was. And yet when my physician didn’t seem concerned, I started to question it.
It is not uncommon for other people to dismiss our pain because it isn’t theirs. It doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there. The analogy to work is that when people are inside toxic workplaces, it is very easy for their concerns to be brushed aside.
If your coworkers, friends, or family downplay your descriptions of harassment, verbal abuse, retaliation or other serious work issues, take a step back to consider their motivations. When people respond unempathetically, it might be because they don’t know how to process your suffering and therefore try to squash the topic that is making them uncomfortable. Another possibility is that their egos are trying to protect them from imagining what it would be like to be in your position. They may have a belief that they are too smart or too strong to “let” themselves be abused, and use that belief like a magic charm to ward against it. A third possibility is that they are resigned to the fact that workplaces are frequently toxic and there aren’t great options for dealing with it.
Regardless of the reasons why others may respond poorly, you don’t need external validation for your lived experiences to be true. Trust yourself. Your experiences are valid.
Everyone at Deadspin quit
By November 1, 2019, every writer and editor at Deadspin had quit.
If you haven’t heard the backstory, it reads like fiction: the Gawker Media website published a sex tape involving Hulk Hogan, who then partnered with billionaire Peter Thiel to sue the site (Thiel held a grudge against Gawker for outing him). Upon winning the suit, Gawker was forced into bankruptcy and Deadspin, one of its blog-sites that covered sports, was sold to Univision Communications, who later sold to a private-equity firm that created a new company called G/O Media Inc.
G/O Media’s owners and management team did not integrate well with the existing staff. There were accusations of gender discrimination and writers and editors were baffled by their leader’s demands that weren’t in the best interest of readers or staff, or even the bottom line. When a beloved deputy editor was fired, the entire staff quit in protest.
I was shocked. Perhaps belonging to the GMG Union provided sufficient solidarity to band together. It’s much more common for peers in a toxic work environment to quit one-by-one, in a slow trickle, when each person either finally finds a new job or hits the limit of what they are willing to accept.
If you’re dealing with your own toxic workplace, don’t expect your peers to stand with you to the end. When people feel like their jobs are in jeopardy, they are more likely to focus on self-preservation. Instead, focus on making the best choices you can. For some, that might mean quitting as soon as their integrity is challenged. For others, it might mean putting their family’s need to stay housed and fed first – and then finding a better job.
If you are struggling with your toxic work environment – good
If you are struggling with your toxic work environment – good. 
I’m sorry that you’re in a negative work situation, but the fact that you’re struggling with it is positive.
If you are resistant when your management instructs you to take actions that are bad for customers or waste shareholder money – good. You care about doing the right thing.
If you are caught between the need to speak up about workplace bullying and the need to keep your paycheck and healthcare benefits – good. Your ethics are showing.
If the subtle, persistent discrimination against certain employees leaves you feeling drained – good. Your body itself is signaling that you are in a dangerous environment.
I am sorry that you are in a job that harms your wellbeing. However, I am glad that you are reacting negatively to a noxious job situation. Your struggle reflects your morality and your desire for fairness. You have integrity. You are in touch with human decency.
I am not worried about your humanity.
I am worried about the other people, the ones who succeed in toxic work environments.
Employees who heartily laugh along with their manager’s discriminatory jokes and respond positively when others are harassed are encouraging this behavior to persist.
Employees that willingly support management decisions that waste time and money are also guilty of wasting time and money.
Employees that unscrupulous managers rely on to support their unethical tactics are also behaving unethically.
People that thrive in toxic work environments perpetuate them. They care more about advancing their careers than they care about integrity.
So, if you are struggling to survive in a toxic work environment – good.
I hope that you advocate for change that improves the situation for you and your coworkers. If that is not possible, save yourself and change jobs before you sink into a pit of stress, depression or low self-esteem.
Most importantly: I hope you keep your integrity.
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