Tag: work environment
It’s hard to succeed in your job if you don’t fit in with the workplace culture
I recently heard someone say that the ability to succeed in the workplace depends on how well you adapt to the culture.
I wish I had learned that lesson at the start of my career. It could have spared me years of fighting to survive in workplaces where I would never have fit in.
I’ve had jobs that I stayed at too long past my expiration date. After the honeymoon phase, I slowly realized that the way I approached my work was not what those organizations wanted. Worse, in one of those roles, my work ethics were not aligned with the team’s.
If I could go back in time, I would have started looking for new roles as soon as I sensed that what I brought to those jobs — including my capabilities, ideals, and personality — were not valued. Instead, I burned out while putting my energy into trying to fit in better and succeed despite the environment. Towards the end, all my energy went to coping one day at a time.
What a waste.
On the other hand, I’ve been fortunate to experience some roles that were a great fit. My managers understood and supported what I was working on and how I did my job. I was mentored by people I respected. I could put my energy into my projects instead of navigating politics and temperamental managers. My skills and personality meshed with team’s charter and culture.
I accomplished a lot for those organizations.
I thrived.
There is nothing virtuous about tolerating a toxic workplace
Coping with a bad job while you search for something better? Great. Doing what you need to do to pay the bills until you can move on? Sometimes necessary.
But there is nothing virtuous about staying in a toxic work environment just because you think you should be able to handle it. Tolerating bad treatment on the job doesn’t earn you a badge of honor.
The unideal workplace
When I finally lost my idealism about work, I was embarrassed that it took so long.
In the early years of my career, I believed that the workplace would be a fair and rationale environment. When situations occasionally arose that led me to think, “that’s a waste of company money” or “it is unethical to treat people like that,” I was indignant.
It just seemed…wrong. And shocking, because it was the opposite of my worldview that people are mostly honest, hard-working and strive to do the right thing.
Over time, I realized that I had been extremely naïve. When I began noticing all the ways that workplaces enable bad behavior, I grew jaded.
It was many years later before I changed my beliefs again. My more pragmatic outlook these days is that while people don’t always act ethically, most organizations aren’t riddled with corruption.
I realize that it is human nature to prioritize self-interest. Sometimes the pressure of meeting deadlines or budgets or unrealistic expectations leads people to make choices that they wouldn’t have made if they felt like they had better options.
Even people at the highest levels of organizations who sometimes seem truly rotten can at least be understood, if not sympathized with. They may be driven to succeed at all costs because of insecurity or by a lack of empathy. They may be pressured by their stakeholders. Or maybe they just don’t have the capacity as a human being to treat other people with respect – and that’s sad.
It’s much less surprising or disappointing to me now when I see bad behavior. Instead of focusing on the wrongness of it, I try to widen my perspective to include the possibility that the people involved are doing the best they can with the circumstances they’re in. It’s not ideal, but it’s real.
When Bad Ideas Happen to Good Employees
Recently a friend told me a funny story about one of his coworkers. His company hired someone to help them cut costs and reduce wasted time and materials. Essentially, his job was to make the company run more efficiently to increase profitability.
I was immediately interested in this story because I’m a big fan of efficiency. Or maybe just a big hater of wasted time and money. Either way, I know a bit about Lean Manufacturing Principles and Rapid Improvement Processes and was curious to know what techniques this person was using.
One of the processes he implemented required everyone who worked in their office to keep three colored cups at their workspaces. If everything was fine, they were supposed to display a green cup on the corner of their desk. If they had a non-urgent issue, they used a yellow cup, and the red cup was for when they needed their manager immediately.
By this point in the story I was already laughing, imagining a room full of adults being told they needed to use plastic drinkware to signal how well they were managing their work throughout the day.
I have no idea why the efficiency expert thought this was a good idea, or why he tried to implement it without getting buy-in from the staff first. If he had asked for feedback, he would have realized that nobody wanted to announce to their entire office when they had an issue they couldn’t resolve on their own. Plus, when people had questions, they just asked them, so it was solving a problem that didn’t exist.
But he didn’t get their feedback first, so everyone had to suffer through an office full of people sabotaging a process while feeling foolish and irritated.
Leading a team through a Rapid Improvement Process can have the complete opposite result. The surface-level benefit is that a work process that was slow, wasteful, or otherwise unpleasant is transformed for the better. But the real win is the positive impact in morale. When people are asked how their tasks could function more smoothly and work together as a team to create solutions, they feel valued, they are given some control over their work environment, and they bond during the process.
Your Truth at Work
Making good decisions about our words and actions is part of having – and keeping – a job.
Whether working with customers, coworkers or employers, there’s a certain amount of self-editing that is required to get along with people and sufficiently meet the expectations of the people that pay you.
Choosing to not say exactly what you’re thinking is a good decision much of the time. Spewing unfiltered frustration damages relationships and your reputation.
At the other end of the spectrum, censoring yourself too much isn’t constructive either. Constantly saying what your manager wants to hear, when it isn’t what you believe, is exhausting. Going along with unethical decisions out of fear probably won’t erase your fear – but will add feelings of guilt. Holding back when you have an opportunity to contribute deprives both you and your organization of your ability to make an impact.
Modifying your behavior at work to the extent that you aren’t being true to yourself isn’t healthy. It’s stressful and depressing.
In some workplaces, there may be room for adjustment. Maybe you can say what’s important to you by approaching the topic in a way that reduces the risk of upsetting the people you work with. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People has great tips for situations like this. Taking a Dale Carnegie class is even better because you get to practice these skills.
If attempting to influence the organization doesn’t work and you’re currently not able to get a different job, you still have control over something: your truth. You might need to smile and nod for self-preservation, but you can acknowledge to yourself what you see, hear, and believe. Don’t let them steal your truth.
Choosing Who to Confide In at Work
The people you work with are often either the best or the worst parts of your job. When those relationships are positive, it can make you more productive, successful, and happier.
When the other parts of your job aren’t going well, having trusted colleagues to confide in can help you get through the day.
Whether they are work friends, your staff, your boss, your peers, people in organizations that work with your organizations, Human Resources – anyone involved with your work – think twice before sharing confidential information. Telling the right person your secrets can strengthen your bond and make the relationship more important to both of you. Telling the wrong person can damage your reputation and career.
Who to trust with specific information can depend more on the individual’s personality than their* position in the company, but there are some common factors to keep in mind.
When You’re Looking for a New Job but Haven’t Accepted an Offer Yet
Your boss: Almost always no.
If you have a positive relationship with them, you might think they would appreciate knowing that you intend to leave before you turn in your two weeks’ notice. However, generally level-headed people can still take it personally, as though you are leaving them not the job. They might also be resentful that they will have to deal with hiring and training a new person and managing your workload until the position is filled. If your news overlaps with performance review timing, you could be punished for disloyalty.
There are only two circumstances when telling your manager may be better than keeping it to yourself. The first is when your boss has explicitly encouraged you to grow your career by taking advantage of job opportunities. The second is when you’ve witnessed your manager supporting other team members who have left the team.
Your employees. No.
Telling your staff that you plan to leave will make them worry about their own jobs.
Your peers. Usually not.
Even your work friends may be jealous or not want you to change the dynamic in your organization. You might feel guilty withholding this information, as though you are being a bad friend. It is more useful to remember that a lot of things can go sideways until you have a signed offer in your hands. It’s much better to wait and share the good news once you’ve landed a position.
The exception is when you need a work reference and can count on a peer to help sell a recruiter on your capabilities.
Health Issues
Your boss, your employees, and your peers: It depends on their personality.
For every person I know who had workplace support through a significant illness, I know of another person who was made miserable during the experience, or even pushed out of the company.
If you’ve got doctor-ordered treatments that take you away from the office or cause obvious physical changes, you don’t have a choice about whether to keep it a secret or not. With other illnesses, it can be difficult to know if you will be supported or punished. The best you can do is evaluate the level of empathy your management has shown for you and others.
You may be able to confide in your manager but keep it a secret from your peers and staff.
Human Resources Issues
Your boss: If your workplace requires it and/or they will actually help you.
If there’s something going on that violates company policy, it’s not paranoid to consult the employee handbook to understand your obligations. If for example you witness employee theft, the policy likely requires you to step forward or else be punished if caught.
If you are thinking about going to your HR department about a workplace issue, remember that they are there to protect and support the organization first. Anything your report is likely to be shared with your manager.
It’s tough to be in a situation where reporting an issue may be the ethical thing to do but puts your job at risk. The media reports on big whistle-blower cases and employee lawsuits. We don’t hear about the other thousands of instances when an employee is forced out or fired for calling attention to a problem.
Your employees: Nope.
Your peers: Probably not.
Unless you and your peers are collectively talking about an issue, it is in everyone’s interest to keep it to yourself. You don’t want to drag other people into situations that could put them at risk or get you in trouble for revealing information that you’ve been asked not to talk about.
Other Personal Stuff
Your boss, your employees, your peers, and everyone else in this world: Share with caution.
When you have Other Personal Stuff impacting your life, of course you need to talk about it with others. Talking helps alleviate some of the burden, and unless you’re a robot, you need some support.
Just be careful who you confide in. People that are otherwise pleasant and even caring towards you might react in unhelpful ways.
Of course if you have any doubt that they might share your personal information with other people: avoid! It’s not worth it. People love to gossip. Don’t become their story of the week.
Many people do not deal with Other Personal Stuff very well. It might be too uncomfortable for them, or they don’t know how to respond. That sucks, but it is kind of understandable. Some people just don’t realize that when in doubt, any of these work: “I’m sorry to hear that. That sounds stressful. Are you ok?”
Worse than clueless but benign people, though, are people who respond so badly that they make your situation worse. Bad responses might be downplaying or denying your situation, victim-shaming, or telling you how you should be coping. On top of whatever issue you’re experiencing, then you have to deal with being blamed or shamed, feeling betrayed, or feeling alone in a situation where you need help from others.
Unfortunately, it can be hard to tell who is unsafe to confide in until it is too late. Friends and family members are just as likely to respond badly as your coworkers. So don’t spill your guts. If there’s someone you feel compelled to share your story with, get a feel for their reaction before you provide the details.
With all people and all topics
Remember that once you tell anyone personal information, you lose control of it and who else they might tell.
*I’m using the plural for he/she/his/her because using “he” alone is gender-unfriendly and writing “he or she” is annoying.
If you are struggling with your toxic work environment – good
If you are struggling with your toxic work environment – good. 
I’m sorry that you’re in a negative work situation, but the fact that you’re struggling with it is positive.
If you are resistant when your management instructs you to take actions that are bad for customers or waste shareholder money – good. You care about doing the right thing.
If you are caught between the need to speak up about workplace bullying and the need to keep your paycheck and healthcare benefits – good. Your ethics are showing.
If the subtle, persistent discrimination against certain employees leaves you feeling drained – good. Your body itself is signaling that you are in a dangerous environment.
I am sorry that you are in a job that harms your wellbeing. However, I am glad that you are reacting negatively to a noxious job situation. Your struggle reflects your morality and your desire for fairness. You have integrity. You are in touch with human decency.
I am not worried about your humanity.
I am worried about the other people, the ones who succeed in toxic work environments.
Employees who heartily laugh along with their manager’s discriminatory jokes and respond positively when others are harassed are encouraging this behavior to persist.
Employees that willingly support management decisions that waste time and money are also guilty of wasting time and money.
Employees that unscrupulous managers rely on to support their unethical tactics are also behaving unethically.
People that thrive in toxic work environments perpetuate them. They care more about advancing their careers than they care about integrity.
So, if you are struggling to survive in a toxic work environment – good.
I hope that you advocate for change that improves the situation for you and your coworkers. If that is not possible, save yourself and change jobs before you sink into a pit of stress, depression or low self-esteem.
Most importantly: I hope you keep your integrity.
Visual Clutter Leads to Mental Clutter
Or the title that I prefer: My sock drawer is good for business.
I work best in an environment that is tidy and minimalist. When there is clutter or too much artwork in my line of sight, I get distracted more easily and feel like there’s less blank space in my mind to have fresh ideas. When I work at my desk at home, all I see over the top of my computer are white closet doors.
What I recently learned is that tidiness inside those closet doors makes a difference, too.
I’m a fan of Marie Kondo, who has been making the press circuits with her new book Spark Joy, which is a follow up to her first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I haven’t read either one.
Yep, I’m a fan based on what I’ve heard and read about her methods in the press. I’m not sure I need to read them because I’m already tidy, I despise over-consumption, and I have a personal principle for deciding what to own: I must love it, need it, or use it.
Also, Kondo’s tip that made a big impact in my life is pretty simple. Basically, it is to stand each piece of clothing or towel upright in a single layer instead of stacking them. This is accomplished either by rolling items, like making little sock spirals, or by folding things like shirts and jeans into compact squares and rectangles.
If at this point you are rolling your eyes and about to stop reading, just try it and see what happens!
It takes so little effort. Really. I took all my pajamas out of a drawer, refolded them and put them back in less than 5 minutes. If you do it and don’t like it, no big deal.
So in control of her life
But maybe you’ll find that it saves you time because you can immediately see the piece of clothing that you want, and don’t have to search for it in the middle of a messy stack. I used to refold and restack my t-shirts every month or so, and I’m glad not to do that anymore.
Depending on your shelves, you might also appreciate saving space. My t-shirts and tank tops used to take up twice the room they do now. Creating blank spaces frees up room for new, better things. Or in my case, I strive to keep an empty shelf or drawer in every room.
I may be unique in this way, but I actually feel happy every time I open a dresser drawer and see how neat it is. Little doses of uplifting energy like this keep me in a positive frame of mind, which is good for creativity. And for, you know – being around people I work with!
There may be metaphors involved here. What if your living space mirrors your life? Then a tidy desk and closet are helping to keep your exterior life and interior life clean.
There are so many things in life that we don’t have control over. I appreciate that I can control my dresser drawers. If anyone looked at the drawer where I store my athletic clothes, they would think, “Dang! That girl has her life in CONTROL.”
These may seem like small changes, but they add up to a more constructive, positive way of going about my day. In the same way that I work better with a lot of blank space around me, I feel better with tidy closets that will stay tidy because of the way that they are arranged. It creates ease and simplicity, and that frees up my mind to concentrate on more important business decisions while I’m working.
Tank tops before
Tank tops after
How To Tell If You Have A Cat And Other Business Problems
I have a problem. I’ve been experiencing unusual symptoms and can’t tell if I have a cat or not.
You’re probably thinking “Seriously, how can you not know if you have a cat.” Let me remind you that a 47 year old woman recently gave birth one hour after realizing she was pregnant. Sometimes it’s hard to tell these things.
Today I met with a trusted advisor to see if she could help me determine if I have a cat or not. She had a series of questions about my symptoms:
Advisor: Is there is a cat in your house?
Me: Well, I can’t say for sure. I saw a cat on the stairs yesterday but haven’t seen one yet today. Sometimes they hide or sleep in weird places, so there might be a cat in the house. Or not.
Advisor: Are you feeding a cat?
Me: This seems black and white, but it isn’t that simple. I put out food and then when I check the dishes later, they are less full, but I haven’t actually witnessed a cat eating food. Maybe the food evaporates. Or a raccoon sneaks in and eats it. I saw the tail end of something that looked like a raccoon on my bed.
Advisor: Let’s backup. When did you first notice that you might have a cat?
Me: OK, I can answer this one. My neighbor was going out of town and asked if I’d like to watch her cat at my house. One of her other two cats picks on this one. So she brought the cat over with some food and litter and when she let her out of the carrier, she promptly ran and hid under a chair (the cat, not my neighbor). This was about two weeks ago.
Advisor: Great. So we know there has been a cat at your house recently. Now we just have to determine if you have a cat. Cat owners name their cats. What is her name?
Me: <sigh> This is another question that is tough to answer. My neighbor told me that the cat’s name was Stripes when she adopted it from another family. I have a hard time pronouncing that word…it gets tangled up in my mouth. She’s not really my cat, I think, so it doesn’t seem right to rename her. For now I’ve been referring to her as “She who shall not be named”. I did catch myself thinking of cat names, though.
Advisor: I see. Did your neighbor return home?
Me: I think so, but I haven’t actually seen her. I didn’t hear from her on the day that she was supposed to return, so I sent her an email and asked if she needed me to watch the cat for a while longer. She said that would be helpful.
Advisor: Hmm, that is vague. Let’s try a rapid-response technique. Just say the first answer that comes to mind. Ready? Cat hair!
Me: Everywhere!
Advisor: Vomit!
Me: None, thank God!
Advisor: Litterbox!
Me: Yes!
Advisor: Meow!
Me: Meow!
Advisor: Did you really just meow back at me?
Me: <defensively> You said to say the first thing that came to mind!
Advisor: I think you should give it more time to see if it clears up on its own.
And that is how we ended the conversation.
I still don’t know if I have a cat. But I know I love metaphors, so here’s one: Sometimes at work something is obvious to a few people and the rest just don’t get it.
For example, rumors of pending layoffs are percolating and several people ramp up their networking while the rest are shocked and unprepared when they are let go. Or a new vice president takes over a division and some people pay extra attention to the direction the wind is blowing. The others are surprised and dismayed when groups are reorganized, budgets are reallocated and projects are reprioritized.
It’s almost as if a few people have their eyes open and the rest are wearing dark glasses. I recommend keeping your eyes open. You’ll be better prepared for change and have an advantage over your coworkers who aren’t paying attention.
Some people naturally absorb many details around them and don’t get bogged down by what is right in front of them. If that is part of your personality already then take advantage of it! Practice putting it to use by listening to hallway conversations instead of tuning them out. When senior leaders are talking, don’t take their words at face value. How are they delivering their messages – vaguely, talking around issues, or over-emphasizing that people should “stay focused on their work”?
If observing everything is not natural to you but you want to be highly regarded and get promoted, then you can approach this by being politically savvy. Don’t worry about paying attention to everything. Instead, pay a lot of attention to what senior management is doing.
Who are they meeting with and how frequently? What projects are they most interested in? Is there a change in their usual routines? Make sure you greet them and ask what they’re focused on these days, and if there’s anything you can do to help. You can piece together a lot of information with these tactics.
Don’t be a weirdo hanger-on or an over-eager, desperate wannabe. We know those people and despise them, right?
Be natural and nonchalant while you are being curious and observant. Then maybe you’ll be quick to realize when the business is shifting and be able to make your choices proactively.
As for me, I’m going to buy some kitty litter. I want to be prepared in case I have a cat.
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