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Tag: sometimes life sucks

The Life Sucks But Actually Everything Is Going To Be OK Playlist

By on July 16, 2015 in Living Your Values with 1 Comment

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When times are really good or really tough a custom playlist gets inside those feelings to work them out. Here is what I’ve been listening to non-stop for the last week, and why.

  1. “This Summer (Explicit)” by Maroon 5. This is a perfect song to start off with because it feels bad-ass to sing the f-word with feeling when things aren’t going the way you want. This especially works if you’re the kind of person who tries not to swear. “This summer’s gonna hurt like a…”
  2. “Uprising” by Muse. This song reminds me that I’m in charge of my life and my personal power is mine and mine alone. “Rise up and take the power back.” “We will be victorious.”
  3. “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons. I feel like the old me has died and the new me is on the verge of rebirth. “I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones/Enough to make my systems blow/Welcome to the new age.”
  4. “It’s Time” by Imagine Dragons. There is power in new beginnings. It’s not always easy and sometimes it takes a long time, but the process is not going to change my truest self. “It’s time to begin, isn’t it?” and “The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell right to the top/Don’t look back.”
  5. “Come with Me Now” by Kongos. This is a power song. Sing it and feel the solidarity with others who are also going through a tough time. “Walk on with me now.”
  6. “Scars” by Papa Roach. Yep, this describes how I’ve felt many times. “I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut/ And my weakness is that I care too much/ And our scars remind us that the past is real.” I’m compassionate and empathetic. And, if a situation is dragging me down then I’ve got to let it go to honor myself and my own path. So “GO. FIX. YOURSELF.” “I can’t help you fix yourself…I gotta move on with my own life.”
  7. “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift. I love Taylor Swift. I feel like my life is a medley of Taylor Swift songs. This one is empowering, putting it out there, like “hey, I’m not ok with what happened there, and I’m done with this.” I love the whole song, but especially, “It’s so sad to think about the good times” because it didn’t used to be this way. And, “if you’re coming my way — just don’t.”
  8. “Roar” by Katy Perry. It is a little awkward following Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” with Katy Perry, because of, you know, their “bad blood” or whatever. But after getting all fired up by my girl Tay, I’ve got to Roar. So “get ready cuz I’ve had enough…dancing through the fire…I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar.”
  9. “Some Nights (Explicit)” by Fun. I am very clear about what I stand for. Yet this is just how it is sometimes: “Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck/Some nights I call it a draw”. And, “Man you wouldn’t believe, the most amazing things that can come from/some terrible nights.” Amen.
  10. “Carry On” by Fun. Here is a happy tune that makes me want to keep my chin up. “If you’re lost and alone/Or you’re sinking like a stone/carry on/May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground/and carry on.”
  11. “Tonight, Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae. This song makes me laugh and reminds me that even though my struggles are real and “oh well, whatever” doesn’t make them go away, I can still go out, see friends, have fun, and remember that I’m alive. “It’s my party, dance if I want to.” This is a great song for blowing off steam.
  12. “Pompeii” by Bastille. “How am I gonna be an optimist about this?” ‘nough said.
  13. “Renegades” by X Ambassadors. This is a beautiful melody, calming and strong at the same time. Sometimes the truth isn’t popular and justice seems elusive, making us feel like we’re “living like we’re renegades.” However, I have faith in being true to my values. “Go forth and have no fear/Come close the end is near” is real for me because I cannot wait to get through this rough time. I’m thankful to draw on my own convictions and the support from people who care about me.
  14. “Girls Chase Boys” by Ingrid Michaelson. Even though this song sounds like it is about romance, these words fit many situations: “All the broken hearts in the world still beat/Let’s not make it harder than it has to be.” And, “I’m a little let down but I’m not dead/there’s a little bit more that has to be said.”
  15. “Don’t Come Around Here No More” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. This is another song that could apply to any issue. “Don’t come around here no more/whatever you’re looking for/Hey! Don’t come around here no more.”
  16. “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera. It would be a waste not to learn or gain something from difficult times. I’m looking for the positive and am grateful for what is good in my life. This is also one of my power songs that helps me tap into my inner strength. “Makes me that much stronger/Makes me work a little bit harder/Makes me that much wiser/So thanks for making me a fighter.”
  17. “I Don’t Wanna Be” by Gavin DeGraw. To end this playlist, I want to remind myself that “I don’t wanna be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately/all I have to do is think of me and my peace of mind/I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do/or who I’m supposed to be, I don’t want be anything other than me.”

If my playlist doesn’t do it for you, make your own angst-ridden list! I’m thinking of all of you out there dealing with tough times. Solidarity.

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Maybe your life sucks because your job sucks

life sucks because job sucksFor the last two weeks I’ve been writing about how life can suck and then it gets better. Now I’m going to show you this really cool trick where you can take any topic that you’ve been writing about and connect it back to the main point of your blog, which in my case is about careers. Are you ready? Here goes:

First of all, a lot of times our lives suck because our jobs suck, and those jobs almost never get better. When they improve, it is usually because your evil boss got fired, you moved to a new team or a new manager, or you got a big promotion that will make you happy for about two weeks. Usually it doesn’t get better, and that’s why I’m writing a book about quitting jobs, so you can go do something else that doesn’t suck.

This is true.

But there is an even deeper connection to how and why our lives suck when we’re in the wrong jobs. The reason is that when you are working in an environment that doesn’t support your authentic self and is not in alignment with your values, it is not the right job for you. No matter how much it pays, how important your title sounds, or how fancy your office is, if your job isn’t a part of living your “right life”, then it is not going to be pleasant.

You might love some parts of your job, and that can make it confusing. I sure adored the team of people I used to work with and was incredibly passionate about the program I was responsible for.

Our relationship to work is similar to any relationship, and there’s ups and downs, good and bad, and changes. It took me a long time to let go of my last full-time employee position because of the positive things about it. But once I realized that it wasn’t the right environment for me to be my truest self, I started planning my exit.

When I finally quit and began aligning my choices with my values, my life became magical. Really. I’ve written about it before, but it still amazes me how much easier and fun life was. Quitting my job had the biggest impact on my life, but along with that I made other changes to be truer to myself. I let go of some people that made me feel dragged down instead of uplifted. Instead of spending all my time working or sleeping, I pursued my interests in animal sanctuaries, started writing again, and looked for ways to tap into my creativity.

After quitting, there was a period of uncertainty and I wasn’t sure exactly what to do, so I just kept living day by day and sometimes hour by hour, making choices that felt like I was staying on track with my values. When things would start to go sideways, I would course-correct immediately. It wasn’t long before I found my way into my consulting business that I love, made deep and lasting friendships and was happier than I had ever been before.

Then, of course, there came the tough times and challenges. Living my “right life” didn’t prevent my beloved cat from getting sick and dying, it didn’t stop my family from having difficulties, and it sure didn’t block out the personal issues I’m facing now. Those things are still hard and hurt…you know, the life sucks part.

Yet I am coping with tough times so much better than I would have when I wasn’t living as close to my ideals. I have a better support system to help me now. I have many things to be grateful for, including my amazing work-life, many people I care about, and appreciation for living in such a beautiful part of the world. The magic is still there. It is just working in subtler, persistent ways.

I’m choosing to believe that part of the reason for my struggles is that there is an area of my life that needs to change. I don’t know exactly what steps I need to take, or what the outcome will be. I’m not even sure if it is an external life change or internal self-development. But I know, because I have experienced this before, that as long as I stay true to myself I’ll make the right decisions at the right time.

This faith gets me through the toughest moments.

Faith, gratitude, and my sense of humor. When times are really good or really rough, I like to name my moods and my outfits, act a little reckless while remaining completely safe, and make playlists. Stay tuned for the “when life sucks but actually everything is going to be ok” playlist, coming soon.

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Sometimes life sucks and then it gets better, Part 2

By on July 2, 2015 in Living Your Values with 2 Comments

bad better worse betterLast week I wrote about how sometimes life sucks and then it gets better. I think I oversimplified it. Because sometimes life sucks and then it gets better and then it gets even worse before it gets better again. Or life sucks and keeps getting worse and you have no idea when it is going to get better and then finally it does.

Lately I’ve been praying for the highest good in my life because I don’t know exactly what that will turn out to be. Since I don’t know for sure if the things that seem like the best things for me truly are, it seems best to just pray for the best outcome.

Yesterday I prayed like mad. Like full on, praying to God, the Universe, my angels, my guides and even my deceased relatives to give me something I thought I needed. Not needed like, “I’m so tired, I need a cup of coffee.” Something I thought I needed to get through a rough time (which I still want to keep private, so thanks again for not asking about it!). I was even throwing out the caveat, just in case, “everything else for the highest good, but please give me this one.”

I didn’t get it.

So.

Okay.

That hurts.

It feels like a 100 pound weight on my chest, I’m sick to my stomach, I have thoughts in my head that I don’t want to be thinking and memories of similar times that I don’t want to remember. Yet there is still work to do, taxes to file, and plants to water so they don’t burn up in this boiling heat wave we’re having.

I watered the plants, got the work done that most needed to be taken care of, and will file my taxes before I get off the computer. Everything else can wait.

I called a friend who is a good listener and gets this kind of thing. I still recognize and appreciate the things that are going well in my life. I scraped together a plan for the weekend. I made myself drink a green protein smoothie because I need the energy to keep going until it finally gets better.

And it will. I know it will.

Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road.

Sometimes life sucks and then it gets better

By on June 24, 2015 in Living Your Values with 1 Comment

life sucksSometimes life sucks. Stuff happens. You’re stressed out. Don’t feel like your normal self. Aren’t up to doing all the things you used to do.

It could be for any or multiple reasons, right? We’ve all been there.

I’m there.

I like keeping my private matters private, so I’m leaving the details out. Thanks for understanding and not asking about it!

And anyway, I don’t want to talk about the details. I want to talk about how I’m handling it.

I’m prioritizing my health and wellbeing, the people I care about, and doing the very best I can for my clients.

So how is that going?

Well, business is great. The people I interact with from day to day are the best I could ask for, and I like my job every single day. So that’s good!

I am focused on doing great work for my clients. I am not, however, taking on much new work, finishing my book, or posting my blog every Thursday (thanks for noticing, by the way). Payroll and taxes are on track but my QuickBooks is more than a little out of date. I’m not up for all of it right now, and would rather focus on the most important stuff and do the rest when I can.

My health and wellbeing and the people I care about are up and down. Good days, bad days, fun days, sad days. I haven’t been to yoga in over two weeks, but went dancing and golfing for the first time in eight or nine months. I’m reaching out to my friends and family when I need support. But I’m not being a great friend to all of the people that matter to me because I don’t have the energy for it. I try to let them know I care and be there when it counts the most.

The negative stuff is temporary. I’m looking forward to getting past it and excited for the future. Overall life is good, I’m fortunate, and I know it. Grateful.

People say “be gentle with yourself” when you’re going through a rough time. Well, yes, but what does that mean exactly? For me it means I know my priorities and that’s what I’m focused on. I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.

I hope you are doing great. And if you’re not, I hope you’re also focusing on the most important things and letting the rest go until you’re ready for it.

Because Life’s a Bittersweet Symphony and sometimes you gotta just Shake it Off.

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